Post by Chesbro on Sept 24, 2009 9:00:44 GMT -5
As expected, I wake up too early in the morning, because I'm too excited to leave Florida. I show up at the airport about an hour and some sooner than I even planned, so I have a lot of time to kill. Oh look, TGI Fridays as a bar. I drink whiskey and eat breakfast waiting for my flight.
I hate flying. Reeaaaallly bad. I've never been a fan of the take off process. We go up, we go down, we move around, it's shaky, all that shit. I'm nervous as usual. Flown a dozen and a half times and still can't shake that feeling before we head up.
Why do we need to fly at 5 miles above the earth anyway? I'm pretty sure there is no traffic at like, 1 mile up.........
We get boarded and out of the gate real fast. That's surprising and I'm happy. I notice 3 young girls on my flight. I look around. I think that if it wasn't for them and myself, median age of the people on my flight would probably be 64. With us, it's probably in the low 40s. Still nervous, but that's what the whiskey was for. I calm down... sorta.
Lotta turbulence from Tampa to Buffalo. Storms all up and down the East Coast. Can't get any sleep because the plane is hurkin and jurkin all over the place. I order more whiskey.
Expecting them to hand me my little bottle and the ginger ale can.. I was greeted with a little tiny cup and no can. Mkay.... I take a drink. Fuck me... thats a lot of whiskey. Did they even put ginger ale in here or am I drinking this shit straight up? Fuck it, the hell do I care? Cheers, bitches.
Land in Buffalo. Thank fuckin god, I'm home. I think to myself, no matter how much things might change, they always stay the same. I walk through Buffalo-Niagara Int'l. I see a video package playing on a big screen. They show a highlight clip of Travis Henry running the football into the end zone. I think to myself, they should probably update that to this decade.
Walking through the terminal... family greets, gives hugs, great to see you, lookin good, all that jazz. They offer me some of their coffee. It's pretty awful. I have Hos on my mind as we leave the airport.
We got to a Diner to eat. Family insists the waitress in her late 40s was hitting on me. She told me I had a nice necklace when we sat down. Thats about it. My family orders little bowls of soup. I look at them, wide-eyed. I realize my family is also full of old people.
Still thinkin about Hos. I get home, start making phone calls and trying to organize the drinking fest that will be later that night. I drive over and check out my lil' bros house he just bought. It's a disaster right now. Shit everywhere. Needs a lot of work. I get offered a room when I move back home for cheap. Schweet.
Eatin din-din with the grandparents. They are interesting folk. I pick on everyone for anything. When asked how my gram made the dinner, she says she used "whole chicken pieces". I can't stop laughing. I continue to mock them and laugh at them for next to anything. It's a good time had by all. This is what I do.
Spend some time back home for a minute, before going around to pick people up. I realize that pretty much all of my friends I'd see that night don't have fuckin cars, a drivers liscense or both. And they're broke. Figures.
Whatever. I take my friends out to the bar and treat them to a bunch of drinks. This is also what I do. No biggie. I've got money to play with.
I get hit on by yet another woman in her 40s, but this time, she's hammered. Shit, is she ugly. I've been drinking for several hours and she's still ugly. She hits on me like a woman in her 40s who hasn't done this in a while. She's just right out there and actin like a dumb whore. She just throws questions at me, one after another.
"are you married? are you dating anyone?"
No and no. She asks me to come to her. I walk over and she throws an arm around my waist. I'm irritated now. She bends in and says "you know, I like 'em a little thicker."
Fuck... you... bitch. I'm not thin, but thick is hardly the word I would use to describe me. I move the hell away from her. Still getting more questions.
"how old are you"
27.
"ohhh, my god, youre a baby. you could be my son."
Good. Then shut the fuck up and leave me to having a GOOD time with my friends.
"wait, whats your name?"
What the hell does it matter? I didn't pass the questions before so why are you asking that? It's like she didn't hear what she wanted to hear.. took a deep breath to swallow the information and then goes to herself, 'its okay.. i'll give him a 2nd chance."
Whatever twat. I was uninterested before you even opened your mouth.
We drink more. Ended up walking back to my folks house, which was anything but fun. Oh well. No DWI or anything like that to risk.
Wake up, take my boy back to his place and finally.. I get my Hos. Tim Hortons has awesome coffee and it's pretty cheap. Gotta love Timmy Hos.
Hope you enjoyed my play by play. I'll continue when I get more time or do more stuff.
I hate flying. Reeaaaallly bad. I've never been a fan of the take off process. We go up, we go down, we move around, it's shaky, all that shit. I'm nervous as usual. Flown a dozen and a half times and still can't shake that feeling before we head up.
Why do we need to fly at 5 miles above the earth anyway? I'm pretty sure there is no traffic at like, 1 mile up.........
We get boarded and out of the gate real fast. That's surprising and I'm happy. I notice 3 young girls on my flight. I look around. I think that if it wasn't for them and myself, median age of the people on my flight would probably be 64. With us, it's probably in the low 40s. Still nervous, but that's what the whiskey was for. I calm down... sorta.
Lotta turbulence from Tampa to Buffalo. Storms all up and down the East Coast. Can't get any sleep because the plane is hurkin and jurkin all over the place. I order more whiskey.
Expecting them to hand me my little bottle and the ginger ale can.. I was greeted with a little tiny cup and no can. Mkay.... I take a drink. Fuck me... thats a lot of whiskey. Did they even put ginger ale in here or am I drinking this shit straight up? Fuck it, the hell do I care? Cheers, bitches.
Land in Buffalo. Thank fuckin god, I'm home. I think to myself, no matter how much things might change, they always stay the same. I walk through Buffalo-Niagara Int'l. I see a video package playing on a big screen. They show a highlight clip of Travis Henry running the football into the end zone. I think to myself, they should probably update that to this decade.
Walking through the terminal... family greets, gives hugs, great to see you, lookin good, all that jazz. They offer me some of their coffee. It's pretty awful. I have Hos on my mind as we leave the airport.
We got to a Diner to eat. Family insists the waitress in her late 40s was hitting on me. She told me I had a nice necklace when we sat down. Thats about it. My family orders little bowls of soup. I look at them, wide-eyed. I realize my family is also full of old people.
Still thinkin about Hos. I get home, start making phone calls and trying to organize the drinking fest that will be later that night. I drive over and check out my lil' bros house he just bought. It's a disaster right now. Shit everywhere. Needs a lot of work. I get offered a room when I move back home for cheap. Schweet.
Eatin din-din with the grandparents. They are interesting folk. I pick on everyone for anything. When asked how my gram made the dinner, she says she used "whole chicken pieces". I can't stop laughing. I continue to mock them and laugh at them for next to anything. It's a good time had by all. This is what I do.
Spend some time back home for a minute, before going around to pick people up. I realize that pretty much all of my friends I'd see that night don't have fuckin cars, a drivers liscense or both. And they're broke. Figures.
Whatever. I take my friends out to the bar and treat them to a bunch of drinks. This is also what I do. No biggie. I've got money to play with.
I get hit on by yet another woman in her 40s, but this time, she's hammered. Shit, is she ugly. I've been drinking for several hours and she's still ugly. She hits on me like a woman in her 40s who hasn't done this in a while. She's just right out there and actin like a dumb whore. She just throws questions at me, one after another.
"are you married? are you dating anyone?"
No and no. She asks me to come to her. I walk over and she throws an arm around my waist. I'm irritated now. She bends in and says "you know, I like 'em a little thicker."
Fuck... you... bitch. I'm not thin, but thick is hardly the word I would use to describe me. I move the hell away from her. Still getting more questions.
"how old are you"
27.
"ohhh, my god, youre a baby. you could be my son."
Good. Then shut the fuck up and leave me to having a GOOD time with my friends.
"wait, whats your name?"
What the hell does it matter? I didn't pass the questions before so why are you asking that? It's like she didn't hear what she wanted to hear.. took a deep breath to swallow the information and then goes to herself, 'its okay.. i'll give him a 2nd chance."
Whatever twat. I was uninterested before you even opened your mouth.
We drink more. Ended up walking back to my folks house, which was anything but fun. Oh well. No DWI or anything like that to risk.
Wake up, take my boy back to his place and finally.. I get my Hos. Tim Hortons has awesome coffee and it's pretty cheap. Gotta love Timmy Hos.
Hope you enjoyed my play by play. I'll continue when I get more time or do more stuff.