Post by Eno Redrum on Mar 27, 2010 15:02:10 GMT -5
(Scene opens with Dragzilla and The Wizard walking down the street towards a bar where they are going to meet some friends.)
Wiz: So are you really going to do it?
Dragzilla: Oh yeah. This time it's for good.
(Scene jumps to Fergie and Jessica Simpson walking down another street heading to the same bar.)
Jessica: Did he say anything to you about what he wants to talk about?
Fergie: Not a word.
Jessica: You don't think he is going to purpose do you?
Fergie: Haha! Yeah sure.
(Scene jumps back to Dragzilla and the Wiz)
Wiz: Think she knows you are gonna dump her?
Dragzilla: Well if she doesn't she ought to by now with everything that's been going on. I mean I have dumped her the last four times I have seen her.
Wiz: So what goes wrong?
Dragzilla: We have sex.
Wiz: You have sex?
Dragzilla: She makes me.
Wiz: How?
Dragzilla: She suggests it.
Wiz: She suggests it?
Dragzilla: Exactly!
Wiz: Evil!
(Shift scene back to Fergie and Jessica)
Jessica: I am just saying that you two had a fantastic time last week so maybe he wants to take it to the next level?
Fergie: Jessica please. One swallow doesn't make an entire Summer.
(Fergie and Jessica finally arrive at the bar. Back to Dragzilla and the Wiz)
Dragzilla: So the last time I dumped her we had amazing, fantastic, borderline illegal sex so now she thinks we are back together.
Wiz: That's just ridiculous!
Dragzilla: I know! One swallow does not make her my girlfriend!
(Dragzilla and the Wiz make their way into the same bar)
Jessica: Maybe you should marry him.
Fergie: It's not like that. It's very casual. It's really just sex with a hint of conversation every now and then.
Jessica: What if he is your last chance at marriage? Remember, every morning your face has another wrinkly and your breasts drop a little closer to the floor. I myself have put a daily limit on facial expression to help slow down the wrinkle process. I now only smile at single men. It's so I can justify the loss of elasticity in my face.
Fergie: Is this how your mind works all the time? Does it ever occur to you that age brings wisdom and confidence?
Jessica: Fergie, age brings you more that you have to shave.
(Back to Dragzilla and the Wiz as Dragzilla is pacing outside the bar.)
Wiz: So you dump her and she does this "suggesting" thing?
Dragzilla: Yeah! I'm just about to leave and I am thinking I am finally done with her and then she leans over, looks me in the eye and says, "I'm wearing crotchless panties."
Wiz: No!
Dragzilla! YES! And she's never worn them before. Not once in the entire relationship. And believe me, I begged!
Wiz: Yeah but Dragz, you are entitled to crotchless panty wearing!
Dragzilla: Am I?
Wiz: Of course! You are still in the zone!
Dragzilla: The what?
Wiz: the Boyfriend Zone. This is the tailing off period. I mean you might still have w edding to go to together and you are a joint entry in everyone's Address books. . .
Dragzilla: And that means I am entitled to see her in crotchless panties?
Wiz: Yes! If it comes up. That's the rules of the zone. Good luck in there Dragz.
Dragzilla: You are a strange and disturbing man Wiz. And to think, they call me odd.
(Dragzilla begins to walk into the bar as the Wiz walks off)
Wiz: Dragz! Do you know what I call this kind of woman? You know, the type you can't get rid of?
Dragzilla: (crosses his arms and smiles) Is this going to be really tasteless? Am I going to be ashamed to be your friend?
Wiz: No. This is just a technical term. You know, a harmless expression.
Dragzilla: Alright. Hit me.
Wiz: (smiles and throws a fake punch at Dragzilla's stomach) Unflushable!
Dragzilla: Turn around Wiz and just walk away please.
Wiz: You know, because they just keep bobbing around like when you go to the bathroom and. . . .
Dragzilla: I GET IT! Just go and don't look back. Just walk away. far far away.
(Dragzilla finally walks into the bar. As he walks in, anotehr person walks in behind him as dragzilla is standing at the door looking around. he gazes over at Fergie)
Fergie: Hi Shaka. (She waves at Shaka Sho'Nuf, who is standing behind Dragzilla and just walked in)
Shaka: What's up Fergie my bitch!
(A blond walks up from behind Dragzilla as Shaka makes his way over to Fergie and Jessica)
Paris: That's hot!
(Dragzilla turns around and is standing face to face with his girlfriend Paris Hilton)
Dragzilla: Hello Paris.
I just love having a new playmate and I couldn't have asked for a better playmate than The Wiz. He and I are two peas in a pod.
He is the Ying to my Yang.
The John Lennon to my Paul McCartney.
The Cream to my Coffee.
The peanut butter to my chocolate.
The. . . . . .
Sorry, I am just rambling on. I just can't help myself. I mean I feel like Michael jackson at an All-Boys Elementary School Track and Field Day.
or R. Kelly at an 8th grade girl Cheer Camp.
Or. . . . . . .
Whooops. There I go rambling again.
Anyway, I am very excited to have a new tag team partner that sees things the way I see them. And to have a new family with the Rabble. It has been like Christmas in March for me. I just wanna jump up and sing I am so happy.
"I'm a little tea cup short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. . . . . . ."
But I really must get back on track as there is so much to do. We have a match to get ready for against that brute Colt Crawford and that foul llittle potty mouth Drake Draxin. Not to mention is all that work coming up with a name for our sexxxy little tag team.
What should we call ourselves?
Sexual healing?
Sexuality?
Or what about S&M?
Mmmmmm, I like that last one. Maybe I should get ahold of Wizzie-poo and see what he thinks.
Tata for now my little bitches.
Kiss, kiss!
Wiz: So are you really going to do it?
Dragzilla: Oh yeah. This time it's for good.
(Scene jumps to Fergie and Jessica Simpson walking down another street heading to the same bar.)
Jessica: Did he say anything to you about what he wants to talk about?
Fergie: Not a word.
Jessica: You don't think he is going to purpose do you?
Fergie: Haha! Yeah sure.
(Scene jumps back to Dragzilla and the Wiz)
Wiz: Think she knows you are gonna dump her?
Dragzilla: Well if she doesn't she ought to by now with everything that's been going on. I mean I have dumped her the last four times I have seen her.
Wiz: So what goes wrong?
Dragzilla: We have sex.
Wiz: You have sex?
Dragzilla: She makes me.
Wiz: How?
Dragzilla: She suggests it.
Wiz: She suggests it?
Dragzilla: Exactly!
Wiz: Evil!
(Shift scene back to Fergie and Jessica)
Jessica: I am just saying that you two had a fantastic time last week so maybe he wants to take it to the next level?
Fergie: Jessica please. One swallow doesn't make an entire Summer.
(Fergie and Jessica finally arrive at the bar. Back to Dragzilla and the Wiz)
Dragzilla: So the last time I dumped her we had amazing, fantastic, borderline illegal sex so now she thinks we are back together.
Wiz: That's just ridiculous!
Dragzilla: I know! One swallow does not make her my girlfriend!
(Dragzilla and the Wiz make their way into the same bar)
Jessica: Maybe you should marry him.
Fergie: It's not like that. It's very casual. It's really just sex with a hint of conversation every now and then.
Jessica: What if he is your last chance at marriage? Remember, every morning your face has another wrinkly and your breasts drop a little closer to the floor. I myself have put a daily limit on facial expression to help slow down the wrinkle process. I now only smile at single men. It's so I can justify the loss of elasticity in my face.
Fergie: Is this how your mind works all the time? Does it ever occur to you that age brings wisdom and confidence?
Jessica: Fergie, age brings you more that you have to shave.
(Back to Dragzilla and the Wiz as Dragzilla is pacing outside the bar.)
Wiz: So you dump her and she does this "suggesting" thing?
Dragzilla: Yeah! I'm just about to leave and I am thinking I am finally done with her and then she leans over, looks me in the eye and says, "I'm wearing crotchless panties."
Wiz: No!
Dragzilla! YES! And she's never worn them before. Not once in the entire relationship. And believe me, I begged!
Wiz: Yeah but Dragz, you are entitled to crotchless panty wearing!
Dragzilla: Am I?
Wiz: Of course! You are still in the zone!
Dragzilla: The what?
Wiz: the Boyfriend Zone. This is the tailing off period. I mean you might still have w edding to go to together and you are a joint entry in everyone's Address books. . .
Dragzilla: And that means I am entitled to see her in crotchless panties?
Wiz: Yes! If it comes up. That's the rules of the zone. Good luck in there Dragz.
Dragzilla: You are a strange and disturbing man Wiz. And to think, they call me odd.
(Dragzilla begins to walk into the bar as the Wiz walks off)
Wiz: Dragz! Do you know what I call this kind of woman? You know, the type you can't get rid of?
Dragzilla: (crosses his arms and smiles) Is this going to be really tasteless? Am I going to be ashamed to be your friend?
Wiz: No. This is just a technical term. You know, a harmless expression.
Dragzilla: Alright. Hit me.
Wiz: (smiles and throws a fake punch at Dragzilla's stomach) Unflushable!
Dragzilla: Turn around Wiz and just walk away please.
Wiz: You know, because they just keep bobbing around like when you go to the bathroom and. . . .
Dragzilla: I GET IT! Just go and don't look back. Just walk away. far far away.
(Dragzilla finally walks into the bar. As he walks in, anotehr person walks in behind him as dragzilla is standing at the door looking around. he gazes over at Fergie)
Fergie: Hi Shaka. (She waves at Shaka Sho'Nuf, who is standing behind Dragzilla and just walked in)
Shaka: What's up Fergie my bitch!
(A blond walks up from behind Dragzilla as Shaka makes his way over to Fergie and Jessica)
Paris: That's hot!
(Dragzilla turns around and is standing face to face with his girlfriend Paris Hilton)
Dragzilla: Hello Paris.
TO BE CONTINUED
I just love having a new playmate and I couldn't have asked for a better playmate than The Wiz. He and I are two peas in a pod.
He is the Ying to my Yang.
The John Lennon to my Paul McCartney.
The Cream to my Coffee.
The peanut butter to my chocolate.
The. . . . . .
Sorry, I am just rambling on. I just can't help myself. I mean I feel like Michael jackson at an All-Boys Elementary School Track and Field Day.
or R. Kelly at an 8th grade girl Cheer Camp.
Or. . . . . . .
Whooops. There I go rambling again.
Anyway, I am very excited to have a new tag team partner that sees things the way I see them. And to have a new family with the Rabble. It has been like Christmas in March for me. I just wanna jump up and sing I am so happy.
"I'm a little tea cup short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. . . . . . ."
But I really must get back on track as there is so much to do. We have a match to get ready for against that brute Colt Crawford and that foul llittle potty mouth Drake Draxin. Not to mention is all that work coming up with a name for our sexxxy little tag team.
What should we call ourselves?
Sexual healing?
Sexuality?
Or what about S&M?
Mmmmmm, I like that last one. Maybe I should get ahold of Wizzie-poo and see what he thinks.
Tata for now my little bitches.
Kiss, kiss!
