Post by Colt Crawford on Mar 28, 2010 22:22:47 GMT -5
We are at the southern house that Colt Crawford and Britney Clark have been calling home recently. Only one car, a blue Durango, sits in the drive-way leaving us to believe both will not be with us today. Inside Colt is sitting on a seemingly brand new beige recliner, with the remotes on the arm rest and the television muted on March Madness. He is dressed to impress…no one in his dark blue mesh shorts and white wife beater.
Colt: Thomas Lugar, Justin York, The Wizard of Ahhhhs, and Dragzilla…do me a favor and think about those four names for just a few moments, and you tell me what comes to mind.
Colt sits tapping his fingers in a wave motion on the arm rest of the chair.
Colt: If you thought a who’s who of wasted worthless talent, you would be thinking correctly. What is even more unique about these four wastes is that they have decided to join all their “talent” together in the Rabble. I may have chosen misfits, but Rabble can work for the time being. It is becoming an undesirable fetish in the TWD.
He looks up for a minute presumably thinking about his own fetishes that he enjoys.
Colt: First we had this so called “Alliance” brought together to bring justice to the TWD. A united front designed to stop all the dirty tricks and sneak attacks, yet they have become the masters of the exact thing that they supposedly despise. In case you wondering Saber, this is your two seconds of acknowledgement. Go ahead soak it in for a minute I will wait.
Colt takes a minute to scratch his ass.
Colt: Hopefully you’re done, it is really a shame that you are worried about what I am saying, more than you are worried about your undeserved tag team title match this week. Please don’t act so surprised when I say undeserved, you and the rest of the TWD know it. Sure Eno is a former World Champion, and you are a former number one contender, but what the hell have you two done together? Have you even wrestled a match together yet?
Colt stops talking and takes a deep breath.
Colt: Okay, enough ranting back to what I was saying. Now after the Alliance we have the Trifecta, the dominating force inside the TWD. The holders of all the gold, the standard we are all supposed to live up to, the true definition of using your knees to get you were you want to go. Sure Jamie is undefeated and Jason and Krunch have looked impressive, but the question still remains if it weren’t for the Moderator’s love obsession with you where would you be today. Challenging for top draw, maybe? But you could also be curtain jerker. Guess as long as your lipstick prints remain on the stick we will never know.
He reaches over the side of the chair and grabs a drink. He takes a few sips before putting it back down.
Colt: And now in the shadow of those two “fractions” we have the emergence of The Rabble. Without question the least impressive of the bunch. The other two can at least claim some sort of success, if nothing more as individuals. But when I look down at the list of Rabble members, I cannot help but laugh to myself.
Colt chuckles loudly for a second.
Colt: See what I mean. Let me start from the bottom and look at the least impressive of the bunch. Granted nothing the easiest to decide, but I will have to give that distinction to The Wizard of Ahhhhs. You have been around this place for a long time and yet have nothing to show for it. Please tell me your signature victory, how about your best title reign? Don’t think to hard because you know as well as I do that neither exists. Your only true claim to fame is being able to bounce off the mat and somehow continue to compete. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for your former partner, how is Off Constantly by the way?
Colt takes a moment to watch the game, but not too long.
Colt: This now brings me to the next on the short bus list, Justin York. Unlike The Wizard, you can claim some success in the TWD. A former tag team champion with you esteemed butt buddy Lugar. However, that was a different time in the TWD, and this time around the story is quite different. You made a triumphant return a few short months ago and ever since than a fat kid rolling down a grassy knoll. You have already attempted to step into the ring with me twice, and on both occasions I made you look like a kindergartener in a high school athletic event.
Colt suddenly begins to shake and has to sit up a minute to regain his composure.
Colt: Just the thought of you makes me shake, not out of fear, but disgust. What the hell are you, and what the hell do you prefer. Just when the world begins to figure you out as one way you throw everyone off and switch hit. You are the most unpredictable mother f’er that I have ever met. But enough about your personal life let’s begin to talk about your lackluster wrestling career. Drags, you have been nothing more than a complimentary piece for your entire career. In JENT it was guys like Kingpin and Marcus T that were the big stars; you were just the little bitch, literally. Then after JENT disbanded you disappeared, and you should have stayed. However, you choose not to and instead have joined up with other men as pathetic as your career. And again you will play the complimentary roll. You think Lugar is going to let you achieve more success then he wants to. Sure he has lured you in with promises, but you can never trust a man like Lugar. Need proof, just go ask Andrei and the rest of family. His track record is the proof in the pudding, and you are just another mysterious looking pawn in his game.
He sits back again and takes another couple of drinks from his adult beverage. His attention is diverted for a second as the Michigan State/Tennessee basketball game reaches its suspenseful end.
Colt: Good deal. Now last and certainly least, the “Ringleader” of this group of misfits, Thomas Lugar. Lugar, where do I even begin with you? I will compliment you on recruiting a little bit backup; if I was staring into my eyes I would be scared too. You attempted to take me down alone, and I put you through a table. You brought along York, and Jaxin and I made quick easy work of you. And now we take on the challenge of your new members. Regardless of the combination of members, if they fall under the label of The Rabble, the end result will always be the same. Hell, bring all four of you at once and Drake and I will still achieve similar results. We are a code that you will never be able to crack, yet we have your number no matter how many times you try and change it.
A car door is slammed in the background, and a few moments later Britney stumbles into the house, with an arm full of grocery bags that seem to out weight her.
Colt: You got all that?
Britney: Guess I do now, lazy ass. I called you to come out and help, but apparently you choose to ignore me.
Colt: I was talking to the TWD people; I think that is more important.
Britney: You know they hate you.
Colt: Excuse me?
Britney: The TWD people hate you and they hate listening to you talk. They only put up with it because they know you are required to talk to them before a show. Otherwise most would turn their televisions off when you come on the screen; actually they probably just mute you right now.
Colt: Well at least I get better treatment then those poor smucks at The Rabble.
Britney: Actually the TWD audience loves those four…
Colt: Even Drags…
Britney: Especially Drags. He/she/it, whatever appeals to all audiences, straight, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, a-sexual, tri-sexual, quad-sexual, animal-sexual, and all the rest.
Colt: What the hell kind of society do we live in where people idolize these types of people? Next thing you know they are going to start loving Saber.
Britney throws a bag of chips at Colt, and just gives him a sly smirk at his last comment.
Colt: REALLY!? What the hell, I give up on people. Dumbasses are taking over, and someone needs to fix this.
Colt finally gets out of his chair and heads down to the basement, while Britney continues to put the groceries away.
Britney: Now you get your lazy ass up!
Colt: Thomas Lugar, Justin York, The Wizard of Ahhhhs, and Dragzilla…do me a favor and think about those four names for just a few moments, and you tell me what comes to mind.
Colt sits tapping his fingers in a wave motion on the arm rest of the chair.
Colt: If you thought a who’s who of wasted worthless talent, you would be thinking correctly. What is even more unique about these four wastes is that they have decided to join all their “talent” together in the Rabble. I may have chosen misfits, but Rabble can work for the time being. It is becoming an undesirable fetish in the TWD.
He looks up for a minute presumably thinking about his own fetishes that he enjoys.
Colt: First we had this so called “Alliance” brought together to bring justice to the TWD. A united front designed to stop all the dirty tricks and sneak attacks, yet they have become the masters of the exact thing that they supposedly despise. In case you wondering Saber, this is your two seconds of acknowledgement. Go ahead soak it in for a minute I will wait.
Colt takes a minute to scratch his ass.
Colt: Hopefully you’re done, it is really a shame that you are worried about what I am saying, more than you are worried about your undeserved tag team title match this week. Please don’t act so surprised when I say undeserved, you and the rest of the TWD know it. Sure Eno is a former World Champion, and you are a former number one contender, but what the hell have you two done together? Have you even wrestled a match together yet?
Colt stops talking and takes a deep breath.
Colt: Okay, enough ranting back to what I was saying. Now after the Alliance we have the Trifecta, the dominating force inside the TWD. The holders of all the gold, the standard we are all supposed to live up to, the true definition of using your knees to get you were you want to go. Sure Jamie is undefeated and Jason and Krunch have looked impressive, but the question still remains if it weren’t for the Moderator’s love obsession with you where would you be today. Challenging for top draw, maybe? But you could also be curtain jerker. Guess as long as your lipstick prints remain on the stick we will never know.
He reaches over the side of the chair and grabs a drink. He takes a few sips before putting it back down.
Colt: And now in the shadow of those two “fractions” we have the emergence of The Rabble. Without question the least impressive of the bunch. The other two can at least claim some sort of success, if nothing more as individuals. But when I look down at the list of Rabble members, I cannot help but laugh to myself.
Colt chuckles loudly for a second.
Colt: See what I mean. Let me start from the bottom and look at the least impressive of the bunch. Granted nothing the easiest to decide, but I will have to give that distinction to The Wizard of Ahhhhs. You have been around this place for a long time and yet have nothing to show for it. Please tell me your signature victory, how about your best title reign? Don’t think to hard because you know as well as I do that neither exists. Your only true claim to fame is being able to bounce off the mat and somehow continue to compete. Unfortunately the same cannot be said for your former partner, how is Off Constantly by the way?
Colt takes a moment to watch the game, but not too long.
Colt: This now brings me to the next on the short bus list, Justin York. Unlike The Wizard, you can claim some success in the TWD. A former tag team champion with you esteemed butt buddy Lugar. However, that was a different time in the TWD, and this time around the story is quite different. You made a triumphant return a few short months ago and ever since than a fat kid rolling down a grassy knoll. You have already attempted to step into the ring with me twice, and on both occasions I made you look like a kindergartener in a high school athletic event.
Colt suddenly begins to shake and has to sit up a minute to regain his composure.
Colt: Just the thought of you makes me shake, not out of fear, but disgust. What the hell are you, and what the hell do you prefer. Just when the world begins to figure you out as one way you throw everyone off and switch hit. You are the most unpredictable mother f’er that I have ever met. But enough about your personal life let’s begin to talk about your lackluster wrestling career. Drags, you have been nothing more than a complimentary piece for your entire career. In JENT it was guys like Kingpin and Marcus T that were the big stars; you were just the little bitch, literally. Then after JENT disbanded you disappeared, and you should have stayed. However, you choose not to and instead have joined up with other men as pathetic as your career. And again you will play the complimentary roll. You think Lugar is going to let you achieve more success then he wants to. Sure he has lured you in with promises, but you can never trust a man like Lugar. Need proof, just go ask Andrei and the rest of family. His track record is the proof in the pudding, and you are just another mysterious looking pawn in his game.
He sits back again and takes another couple of drinks from his adult beverage. His attention is diverted for a second as the Michigan State/Tennessee basketball game reaches its suspenseful end.
Colt: Good deal. Now last and certainly least, the “Ringleader” of this group of misfits, Thomas Lugar. Lugar, where do I even begin with you? I will compliment you on recruiting a little bit backup; if I was staring into my eyes I would be scared too. You attempted to take me down alone, and I put you through a table. You brought along York, and Jaxin and I made quick easy work of you. And now we take on the challenge of your new members. Regardless of the combination of members, if they fall under the label of The Rabble, the end result will always be the same. Hell, bring all four of you at once and Drake and I will still achieve similar results. We are a code that you will never be able to crack, yet we have your number no matter how many times you try and change it.
A car door is slammed in the background, and a few moments later Britney stumbles into the house, with an arm full of grocery bags that seem to out weight her.
Colt: You got all that?
Britney: Guess I do now, lazy ass. I called you to come out and help, but apparently you choose to ignore me.
Colt: I was talking to the TWD people; I think that is more important.
Britney: You know they hate you.
Colt: Excuse me?
Britney: The TWD people hate you and they hate listening to you talk. They only put up with it because they know you are required to talk to them before a show. Otherwise most would turn their televisions off when you come on the screen; actually they probably just mute you right now.
Colt: Well at least I get better treatment then those poor smucks at The Rabble.
Britney: Actually the TWD audience loves those four…
Colt: Even Drags…
Britney: Especially Drags. He/she/it, whatever appeals to all audiences, straight, gay, lesbian, bi-sexual, a-sexual, tri-sexual, quad-sexual, animal-sexual, and all the rest.
Colt: What the hell kind of society do we live in where people idolize these types of people? Next thing you know they are going to start loving Saber.
Britney throws a bag of chips at Colt, and just gives him a sly smirk at his last comment.
Colt: REALLY!? What the hell, I give up on people. Dumbasses are taking over, and someone needs to fix this.
Colt finally gets out of his chair and heads down to the basement, while Britney continues to put the groceries away.
Britney: Now you get your lazy ass up!