Post by spurlock on Aug 2, 2008 18:54:55 GMT -5
TWD...the new home. The new stomping grounds and a new start for wrestling's metal god. Justin Lawler, I don't know you, don't really care, I'll be whooping your ass in a week. Bet on that biatch!
(Mark is sitting in a chair behind the mixing board of his personal studio at his home in the Chicago Suburbs. He's going over the recording sessions of his band's song "Gate to Oblivion" to make sure everything is set for the mastering process. Lounging on the couches behind him are Mike Savior, PWR-1's Ice, and Uncensored. All with beers in hand as they listen to the rough mix and Ice is busy playing MLB 08 on Mark's PS3 and 56" HD tv...and getting his ass kicked by the Cubs because he's controlling the Cards and, well, they suck ass.)
UC - Sounds fucking badass bro! When's this all gonna be released?
MS - Thanks Dave, I dunno yet. I've got many problems with the band itself. Most of the fuckers left, this has just been myself, the bassist, and a drum machine.
UC - Gay...
IC - Damnit! Your fucking Cubs are cheating bastards even in videogames! I swear the ump's paid off on this shit, I can't get him to call a strike if his life depended on it!
MS - Maybe if you threw the damn ball in the strike zone you wouldn't have the problem.
MSV - Dude, we need to hit up a bar tonight. We haven't caused some hell in a while.
UC - I dunno if that's a good idea Mike, Mark here has a bad mean streak whenever myself and him drink.
MS - The fuck you talking about?
UC - Remember when you came rolling in to my place?
(The flashback scene reveals Uncensored, Mark, and some party crashers standing outside Uncensored's door having a chat when all of a sudden we hear the terrible sounds of Fall Out Boy being blasted from a nearby home.)
UC -...oh son of a bitch. Fucking neighbors across the street are blasting their homo emo music again. Fuckers.
MS - Gimme a sec...
(He says as he throws on a black mask and jogs across the street to the house in question. Short time later, the music stops and we hear a high pitched girl scream come from the house. Mark soon emerges and walks back over to Uncensored.)
UC - What the hell did you do?
MS - I showed him why it's a sin to blast emo music at night time.
UC - Wait, him? Who was the chick that screamed.
MS - No, that was the dude who got kicked in the balls and then was given a wedgie and hung from a door in the house. Them girl pants he wore probably hurt like a son of a bitch already, you'd probably scream too if you were in that perdicament.
(The scene fades back to the four in Mark's studio.)
MS - Dude, that was ONE time!
UC - Oh really?
(Another flashback scene shows Mark and Uncensored sitting in a bar listening to some GnR when all of a sudden some punk kids interrupt their music with some Bullet For My Valentine. An argument ensues, started by Mark of course, that ends with the two following the punks outside for a brawl...when the rest of their crew arrive.)
UC: What the fuck is this? Our fight was with you three assholes.
Hardcore Kid 3: No... your fight's with all of us... you mess with one of the West Town Steppers, you mess with all of them
MS: West Town Steppers? What kind of pussy dance group name is that?
Hardcore Kid 3: Enough of your bullshit insults... lets fight.
UC: You call a seven on two odds while you guys are having weapons a fight?
Hardcore Kid 3: Yes, and we're going to fuck you two up?
UC: Funny thing assholes... I call that practice.
(The brawl begins and after a few moments, Mark breaks a skateboard over the last hapless fool's head. Our two heros survey the carnage.)
Spurlock: More Drinks?
Uncensored: More Drinks...
(And the two go back into the bar. The scene fades back to the studio.)
MS - Dude, you act like I'm ALWAYS drunk and beating up people.
UC - No, you're not always drunk, sometimes you're either sober or just hungover...
(The scene now fades to a gas station with Uncensored holding back an irate Mark from beating the piss out of the attendent for being a clueless moron. He's the kind of kid that dresses all gangsta and looks like a dumbass white boy from the midwest...and talks with a lisp due to the huge stud embedded in his tongue.)
UC: He's 18 Years old, he's an idiot... doesn't mean he deserves to be beaten...
(All of a sudden the kid seems to grow a set of balls.)
AT: Yo man... I'm a GAN-THA... I'll kick both y'all atheths... I ain't gonna take your thit anymore...
(Uncensored looks at the kid with his eyebrow raised.)
UC: Oh really? So I guess you've come out of your drug daze?
AT: Thut up! I'm a fuckin OG!
(Uncensored looks at the angry Mark Spurlock and then back at the kid. After a second, Uncensored backs off the raging Master of Metal Mayhem.)
UC: Okay Mark, go to town on him...
(And Spurlock leaps over the counter and proceeds to deliver a well deserved asskicking to this kid. The scene fades back to the studio once again.)
MS - Okay, okay, okay. I'll tone it down when we get to the bar.
(The guys chill for a moment as Mark loads up a bowl. Suddenly, he looks like he has a huge revelation as he turns to Ice.)
MS - Yo Ice, you know your little catch phrase?
IC - Yeah, what about it?
MS - You're right man, silence IS golden...
IC - What the fuck are you talking about?
(He thinks for a split second before getting a morbid look on his face.)
IC - Dude! NOT fucking cool!
MSV - Oh my god!
UC - Damnit Mark!
(The three use their shirts to cover their faces and bolt it out of the room. Mark stops trying to load the bowl as his SILENT anal blast clears the room. The scene fades.)
(Mark is sitting in a chair behind the mixing board of his personal studio at his home in the Chicago Suburbs. He's going over the recording sessions of his band's song "Gate to Oblivion" to make sure everything is set for the mastering process. Lounging on the couches behind him are Mike Savior, PWR-1's Ice, and Uncensored. All with beers in hand as they listen to the rough mix and Ice is busy playing MLB 08 on Mark's PS3 and 56" HD tv...and getting his ass kicked by the Cubs because he's controlling the Cards and, well, they suck ass.)
UC - Sounds fucking badass bro! When's this all gonna be released?
MS - Thanks Dave, I dunno yet. I've got many problems with the band itself. Most of the fuckers left, this has just been myself, the bassist, and a drum machine.
UC - Gay...
IC - Damnit! Your fucking Cubs are cheating bastards even in videogames! I swear the ump's paid off on this shit, I can't get him to call a strike if his life depended on it!
MS - Maybe if you threw the damn ball in the strike zone you wouldn't have the problem.
MSV - Dude, we need to hit up a bar tonight. We haven't caused some hell in a while.
UC - I dunno if that's a good idea Mike, Mark here has a bad mean streak whenever myself and him drink.
MS - The fuck you talking about?
UC - Remember when you came rolling in to my place?
(The flashback scene reveals Uncensored, Mark, and some party crashers standing outside Uncensored's door having a chat when all of a sudden we hear the terrible sounds of Fall Out Boy being blasted from a nearby home.)
UC -...oh son of a bitch. Fucking neighbors across the street are blasting their homo emo music again. Fuckers.
MS - Gimme a sec...
(He says as he throws on a black mask and jogs across the street to the house in question. Short time later, the music stops and we hear a high pitched girl scream come from the house. Mark soon emerges and walks back over to Uncensored.)
UC - What the hell did you do?
MS - I showed him why it's a sin to blast emo music at night time.
UC - Wait, him? Who was the chick that screamed.
MS - No, that was the dude who got kicked in the balls and then was given a wedgie and hung from a door in the house. Them girl pants he wore probably hurt like a son of a bitch already, you'd probably scream too if you were in that perdicament.
(The scene fades back to the four in Mark's studio.)
MS - Dude, that was ONE time!
UC - Oh really?
(Another flashback scene shows Mark and Uncensored sitting in a bar listening to some GnR when all of a sudden some punk kids interrupt their music with some Bullet For My Valentine. An argument ensues, started by Mark of course, that ends with the two following the punks outside for a brawl...when the rest of their crew arrive.)
UC: What the fuck is this? Our fight was with you three assholes.
Hardcore Kid 3: No... your fight's with all of us... you mess with one of the West Town Steppers, you mess with all of them
MS: West Town Steppers? What kind of pussy dance group name is that?
Hardcore Kid 3: Enough of your bullshit insults... lets fight.
UC: You call a seven on two odds while you guys are having weapons a fight?
Hardcore Kid 3: Yes, and we're going to fuck you two up?
UC: Funny thing assholes... I call that practice.
(The brawl begins and after a few moments, Mark breaks a skateboard over the last hapless fool's head. Our two heros survey the carnage.)
Spurlock: More Drinks?
Uncensored: More Drinks...
(And the two go back into the bar. The scene fades back to the studio.)
MS - Dude, you act like I'm ALWAYS drunk and beating up people.
UC - No, you're not always drunk, sometimes you're either sober or just hungover...
(The scene now fades to a gas station with Uncensored holding back an irate Mark from beating the piss out of the attendent for being a clueless moron. He's the kind of kid that dresses all gangsta and looks like a dumbass white boy from the midwest...and talks with a lisp due to the huge stud embedded in his tongue.)
UC: He's 18 Years old, he's an idiot... doesn't mean he deserves to be beaten...
(All of a sudden the kid seems to grow a set of balls.)
AT: Yo man... I'm a GAN-THA... I'll kick both y'all atheths... I ain't gonna take your thit anymore...
(Uncensored looks at the kid with his eyebrow raised.)
UC: Oh really? So I guess you've come out of your drug daze?
AT: Thut up! I'm a fuckin OG!
(Uncensored looks at the angry Mark Spurlock and then back at the kid. After a second, Uncensored backs off the raging Master of Metal Mayhem.)
UC: Okay Mark, go to town on him...
(And Spurlock leaps over the counter and proceeds to deliver a well deserved asskicking to this kid. The scene fades back to the studio once again.)
MS - Okay, okay, okay. I'll tone it down when we get to the bar.
(The guys chill for a moment as Mark loads up a bowl. Suddenly, he looks like he has a huge revelation as he turns to Ice.)
MS - Yo Ice, you know your little catch phrase?
IC - Yeah, what about it?
MS - You're right man, silence IS golden...
IC - What the fuck are you talking about?
(He thinks for a split second before getting a morbid look on his face.)
IC - Dude! NOT fucking cool!
MSV - Oh my god!
UC - Damnit Mark!
(The three use their shirts to cover their faces and bolt it out of the room. Mark stops trying to load the bowl as his SILENT anal blast clears the room. The scene fades.)