Post by The Wizard of Ahhhhs on Jun 7, 2008 22:58:18 GMT -5
"Paul Revere" by the Beastie Boys plays in the background. It's black. I'm serious, you are looking at a black screen, but still this song plays. There is a ruffling that sounds a bit like a scuffle. It's still black. Coil springs stretch in the distance with a widening and then lessening screeching. The screeches come quickly and then begin to slow.
Voice: Asshole, the god damn lense cap is on.
Other Voice: Are you serious?
Hey, another voice: Whoa, I'm so lit.
Black begins to lighten and then it in a swift motion, it comes to live. Your imagination, kids. It's your imagination. A window that looks down at concrete has changed direction, moving from the focus of the ground to a mush of a color which could only be that of grass to a trampoline.
Other Voice takes on a physical presence now. It's a man of normal height and normal stature. He is dressed in cut off shorts and what looks like a black wrap around his upper body. Well, not really. The wrap is slung over his shoulder, tucked under his other arm and back over. It looked pretty odd, I'll have to admit. He wore his hair short. He leaps up into mid air and executes a sloppy drop kick at a cardboard stand up of, you know, it doesn't really matter which person it is. Just imagine it being someone who you think absolutely should not have a stand up picture of themselves made. Not all of them. Just pick one and be quick about it. That's who's face, body, trendy clothing, and like, totally rad new hair style and apply it to that cutout. The cutout takes a tumble off the trampoline and to the ground where it lay.
Other Voice, becomes Small Guy. *Snap, snap* Pay attention.
Small Guy: OHHH!!
Voice: You've been flopping around on that trampoline for weeks. You are still no closer to being a wrestler.
Small Guy: HEY!
He points with a stern finger as he sits to his knees, staring off from the camera.
Small Guy: I think you are wrong. Frankly, I think you are missing the real point here.
Voice: Which is what?
The Small Guy hops off the trampoline and walks towards the camera. His sash has mostly undone itself, so he has to sling it over his shoulder again.
Small Guy: Did you see that dropkick right there?
Voice: Hard to miss that mid air seizure. Actually, we have video footage for replay. Was that a... dropkick?
Small Guy: Forget about the dropkick.
The Small Guy waves his hands about like he was clearing an Etch-A-Sketch the size of.. doesn't really matter, a bigger than small one.
Small Guy: Here's why I think you're wrong. People would look at a guy like me and they'd think what?
Hey, another voice: Total faggot...... that was my first impression. Now that I think of it.. it's my only impression.
Small Guy: They would think that because I'm not 6 foot and big inches tall or weighing 3 bills that I am easily beaten up.
Voice: Who are they?
Small Guy: The people.
Hey, another voice: What people?
Small Guy: You know, the ones who think that stuff.
Hey, another voice: I'm not sure I know them.
Voice: You might if you saw them.
Hey, another voice: Yea, that's true. I'm really bad with names.
Small Guy: SHUT UP! It doesn't matter who "they" are. It's an overgeneralization. Why are you so off all the time? Constantly. The fact of the matter that I've been on this thing for weeks now and look at me.
The Small Guy points to himself with open palms. He then points off the camera.
Small Guy: You've wrestled with me on here.
He points off the camera to somewhere else.
Small Guy: You're constantly off dumbass self has wrestled with me on here.
He points back to himself.
Small Guy: I'm still fine. Look at me. Hopping around. Jumping around. Using all my limbs freely.
Hey, another voice: So?
Small Guy: What I'm saying is that if I said I wanted to wrestle, they... the people...
He looks off the camera sarcastically.
Small Guy: WHOMEVER THE HELL THEY ARE...
He looks back at the camera.
Small Guy: Would probably say that I would get hurt. As you can see... I am not hurt. Therefore, me and my stone skin are more than capable of being in a wrestling ring.
Other Voice: My stone skin and I.
The Small Guy raises a hand as if he wanted to backhand someone.
Small Guy: Don't correct me in front of the fans.
Voice: Fan. He's our only one.
Hey, another voice: Actually, I don't even like either of you.
The camera is suddenly jolted and it flies. There is a mush of green grass color again, until the camera crashes down and lays flat against the ground. You can see many blades of grass.
Small Guy: I can beat people up too, that's why I can be a wrestler.
Other Voice: I'm the one who hit him.
Small Guy: Yea, but I could've too.
Completion.
Voice: Asshole, the god damn lense cap is on.
Other Voice: Are you serious?
Hey, another voice: Whoa, I'm so lit.
Black begins to lighten and then it in a swift motion, it comes to live. Your imagination, kids. It's your imagination. A window that looks down at concrete has changed direction, moving from the focus of the ground to a mush of a color which could only be that of grass to a trampoline.
Other Voice takes on a physical presence now. It's a man of normal height and normal stature. He is dressed in cut off shorts and what looks like a black wrap around his upper body. Well, not really. The wrap is slung over his shoulder, tucked under his other arm and back over. It looked pretty odd, I'll have to admit. He wore his hair short. He leaps up into mid air and executes a sloppy drop kick at a cardboard stand up of, you know, it doesn't really matter which person it is. Just imagine it being someone who you think absolutely should not have a stand up picture of themselves made. Not all of them. Just pick one and be quick about it. That's who's face, body, trendy clothing, and like, totally rad new hair style and apply it to that cutout. The cutout takes a tumble off the trampoline and to the ground where it lay.
Other Voice, becomes Small Guy. *Snap, snap* Pay attention.
Small Guy: OHHH!!
Voice: You've been flopping around on that trampoline for weeks. You are still no closer to being a wrestler.
Small Guy: HEY!
He points with a stern finger as he sits to his knees, staring off from the camera.
Small Guy: I think you are wrong. Frankly, I think you are missing the real point here.
Voice: Which is what?
The Small Guy hops off the trampoline and walks towards the camera. His sash has mostly undone itself, so he has to sling it over his shoulder again.
Small Guy: Did you see that dropkick right there?
Voice: Hard to miss that mid air seizure. Actually, we have video footage for replay. Was that a... dropkick?
Small Guy: Forget about the dropkick.
The Small Guy waves his hands about like he was clearing an Etch-A-Sketch the size of.. doesn't really matter, a bigger than small one.
Small Guy: Here's why I think you're wrong. People would look at a guy like me and they'd think what?
Hey, another voice: Total faggot...... that was my first impression. Now that I think of it.. it's my only impression.
Small Guy: They would think that because I'm not 6 foot and big inches tall or weighing 3 bills that I am easily beaten up.
Voice: Who are they?
Small Guy: The people.
Hey, another voice: What people?
Small Guy: You know, the ones who think that stuff.
Hey, another voice: I'm not sure I know them.
Voice: You might if you saw them.
Hey, another voice: Yea, that's true. I'm really bad with names.
Small Guy: SHUT UP! It doesn't matter who "they" are. It's an overgeneralization. Why are you so off all the time? Constantly. The fact of the matter that I've been on this thing for weeks now and look at me.
The Small Guy points to himself with open palms. He then points off the camera.
Small Guy: You've wrestled with me on here.
He points off the camera to somewhere else.
Small Guy: You're constantly off dumbass self has wrestled with me on here.
He points back to himself.
Small Guy: I'm still fine. Look at me. Hopping around. Jumping around. Using all my limbs freely.
Hey, another voice: So?
Small Guy: What I'm saying is that if I said I wanted to wrestle, they... the people...
He looks off the camera sarcastically.
Small Guy: WHOMEVER THE HELL THEY ARE...
He looks back at the camera.
Small Guy: Would probably say that I would get hurt. As you can see... I am not hurt. Therefore, me and my stone skin are more than capable of being in a wrestling ring.
Other Voice: My stone skin and I.
The Small Guy raises a hand as if he wanted to backhand someone.
Small Guy: Don't correct me in front of the fans.
Voice: Fan. He's our only one.
Hey, another voice: Actually, I don't even like either of you.
The camera is suddenly jolted and it flies. There is a mush of green grass color again, until the camera crashes down and lays flat against the ground. You can see many blades of grass.
Small Guy: I can beat people up too, that's why I can be a wrestler.
Other Voice: I'm the one who hit him.
Small Guy: Yea, but I could've too.
Completion.