Post by The Wizard of Ahhhhs on Aug 31, 2008 2:42:08 GMT -5
(The scene cuts in, like whoa. The Wizard of Ahhhhs is shown pushing change from one pile to another pile on the other side of a table. After so many, he picks up a pencil and makes a notation on a white pad beside him. There is a deep clearing of a throat behind him and it startles him. His hand swats change everywhere as he falls out of his chair.)
Huge Guy: Uhoh....
(The Wizard's hand comes up from underneath the table and smacks down onto it, scattering some more change about. He pulls himself up, atleast enough for his face to come from under the table and into view. He is glaring at the big man.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Whhhhhhhhaaatt... have I told YOUUUUU.... about coming up on me like that?!
Huge Guy: Not to.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: TRUE STORY!
(The Wizard continues to pull himself up. He stands up and chops the big man across his bare chest. The big man looks down at the spot that he hit as it turns a slight color of red. He isn't really fazed by it, but it doesn't seem to bother him anyway. The Wizard looks down at the table and then admires the change that is all over the floor.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Super.
Huge Guy: Yup.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You know I have to start counting that all over again, don't you?
Huge Guy: Yup.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Jesus. Well... get your constantly off ass down here and start picking up the coins. These are important if I'm ever going to be able to afford the wrestling school.
Huge Guy: M'kay.
(The Wizard and the unnamed huge guy get onto the floor and start picking up coins. The Wizard speaks.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Where did you learn to wrestle anyway?
Huge Guy: Hmmm?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You really came through in a big way during that tag match. I wasn't even sure that it was going to go as well as it did. Where did you learn to toss people around like that?
Huge Guy: I don't know. I'm just bigger than them. It's not.. ummmm... brain replacement.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You mean brain surgery?
Huge Guy: That sounds tougher.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: If you were replacing someone's brain, you'd have to have surgery to have that done...
Huge Guy: Yea? I was unaware.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You were wha... christ, it doesn't matter.
(The Wizard places his handful of coins on the table and continues picking up more.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I think we need to pursue some new ventures. The car wash isn't really panning out the way I thought it was going to.
Huge Guy: You do have a tan though.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I do. It's just not making enough money though. I'm still being beat on when I'm in the ring.
Huge Guy: Maybe I should be out there instead of you.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You? Oh you're a pretty big fella and you can certainly toss around some people. I think Martin selected me for a reason though. I have... "it".
Huge Guy: Didn't you voluntee...
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: SHHH!!! I have... style.
Huge Guy: Style?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Yea... Styyyyyyyyle.
Huge Guy: I didn't know that black eyes were in these days.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs stops picking up coins and stares at the big man. He stops and stares back. They stare some more. It's a staredown. Who's going to blink first? I don't know. Could be either of them. Looks like Wizard is goi, wait... maybe it's the big ma... who gives a shit.)
Huge Guy: Maybe we should do a bake sale?
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs scratches his head.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You know anything about baking?
Huge Guy: Banking? No.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: BAKING!
Huge Guy: As much as you know about wrestling.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: That might be an issue then.
Huge Guy: Can I have a name yet?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: A name?
Huge Guy: Yep, people ask me who my name was after the show. I didn't know what to tell them.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: What do you want to be called?
Huge Guy: How about something really tough, like the Spine Ripper? What about Nitro?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I don't think those really suit you.
Huge Guy: What do you think suits me?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Something that fits your personality. Something that tells people, who you are.
Huge Guy: Huge Guy?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I think that's too obvious.
Huge Guy: I'm lost then.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I'm fully aware of that. Not much activity going on in that brain of yours.
Huge Guy: Perhaps I need a replacement?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Nah, surgery is tough.
(The scene cuts.)
(I lied. The scene doesn't cut.)
Huge Guy: I'VE GOT IT!
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Got what?
Huge Guy: Milk.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You're so.... off. Off..... I'VE GOT IT!
(The scene cuts.. for real.)
Amburger.
Huge Guy: Uhoh....
(The Wizard's hand comes up from underneath the table and smacks down onto it, scattering some more change about. He pulls himself up, atleast enough for his face to come from under the table and into view. He is glaring at the big man.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Whhhhhhhhaaatt... have I told YOUUUUU.... about coming up on me like that?!
Huge Guy: Not to.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: TRUE STORY!
(The Wizard continues to pull himself up. He stands up and chops the big man across his bare chest. The big man looks down at the spot that he hit as it turns a slight color of red. He isn't really fazed by it, but it doesn't seem to bother him anyway. The Wizard looks down at the table and then admires the change that is all over the floor.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Super.
Huge Guy: Yup.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You know I have to start counting that all over again, don't you?
Huge Guy: Yup.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Jesus. Well... get your constantly off ass down here and start picking up the coins. These are important if I'm ever going to be able to afford the wrestling school.
Huge Guy: M'kay.
(The Wizard and the unnamed huge guy get onto the floor and start picking up coins. The Wizard speaks.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Where did you learn to wrestle anyway?
Huge Guy: Hmmm?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You really came through in a big way during that tag match. I wasn't even sure that it was going to go as well as it did. Where did you learn to toss people around like that?
Huge Guy: I don't know. I'm just bigger than them. It's not.. ummmm... brain replacement.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You mean brain surgery?
Huge Guy: That sounds tougher.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: If you were replacing someone's brain, you'd have to have surgery to have that done...
Huge Guy: Yea? I was unaware.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You were wha... christ, it doesn't matter.
(The Wizard places his handful of coins on the table and continues picking up more.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I think we need to pursue some new ventures. The car wash isn't really panning out the way I thought it was going to.
Huge Guy: You do have a tan though.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I do. It's just not making enough money though. I'm still being beat on when I'm in the ring.
Huge Guy: Maybe I should be out there instead of you.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You? Oh you're a pretty big fella and you can certainly toss around some people. I think Martin selected me for a reason though. I have... "it".
Huge Guy: Didn't you voluntee...
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: SHHH!!! I have... style.
Huge Guy: Style?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Yea... Styyyyyyyyle.
Huge Guy: I didn't know that black eyes were in these days.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs stops picking up coins and stares at the big man. He stops and stares back. They stare some more. It's a staredown. Who's going to blink first? I don't know. Could be either of them. Looks like Wizard is goi, wait... maybe it's the big ma... who gives a shit.)
Huge Guy: Maybe we should do a bake sale?
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs scratches his head.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You know anything about baking?
Huge Guy: Banking? No.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: BAKING!
Huge Guy: As much as you know about wrestling.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: That might be an issue then.
Huge Guy: Can I have a name yet?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: A name?
Huge Guy: Yep, people ask me who my name was after the show. I didn't know what to tell them.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: What do you want to be called?
Huge Guy: How about something really tough, like the Spine Ripper? What about Nitro?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I don't think those really suit you.
Huge Guy: What do you think suits me?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Something that fits your personality. Something that tells people, who you are.
Huge Guy: Huge Guy?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I think that's too obvious.
Huge Guy: I'm lost then.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I'm fully aware of that. Not much activity going on in that brain of yours.
Huge Guy: Perhaps I need a replacement?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Nah, surgery is tough.
(The scene cuts.)
(I lied. The scene doesn't cut.)
Huge Guy: I'VE GOT IT!
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Got what?
Huge Guy: Milk.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You're so.... off. Off..... I'VE GOT IT!
(The scene cuts.. for real.)
Amburger.