Post by The Wizard of Ahhhhs on Sept 18, 2008 22:29:04 GMT -5
(The scene opens. We are watching a TV up close. As we've all been told since we were little, you shouldn't be watching TV up close. Pan the camera back please? The camera pans back and we are looking over the shoulder of the Wizard of Ahhhhs. He has a remote in hand and he is flipping through the stations. A voice comes from behind him.)
Off Constantly: Hey, you've got mail.
(The camera turns around and Off Constantly is shown huddled over the computer.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh yea?
(The camera turns back around to the Wizard still flipping channels.)
Off Constantly: Yea.
(The camera turns back to Off Constantly, still at the computer.)
The Wizard of Ahhhs: What's it about?
(The camera turns back to the Wizard of Ahhhhs, still watching TV, but can't find anything interesting.)
Off Constantly: One of those training schools got back to you about wrestling classes.
(The camera turns back to Off Constantly, talking about an email, but at the computer.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Who's it from?
(The camera turns back to the Wizard of Ahhhhs, getting frustrated with the TV.)
Off Constantly: Chris Freytag.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs stops on the Disney channel and slowly gets up off the couch and walks over to the computer. Thank god, now I don't have to write the constant back and forth motion of the camera. The Wizard of Ahhhhs tries to look over Off Constantly's shoulder. Off Constantly moves so he can see, but he moved into the space that the Wizard was looking. The Wizard gives a disgruntled look and moves to the other side.)
Off Constantly: Sorry, I'll move.
(Off Constantly moves over, but again, he is in the same spot that the Wizard is in. The Wizard moves over to his other shoulder.)
Off Constantly: My bad.
(Off Constantly moves over again, back to his first position. The Wizard moves over to the other side.)
Off Constantly: Which way are you going?
(Off Constantly moves over to the other side, blocking the Wizard's view unintentionally. The Wizard has had it up to here.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: CHRIST! MOVE OUT OF THE FUCKING CHAIR!!
(Off Constantly turns and pushes off the chair with his hands. The chair creeks a bit uneasily, but he removes his huge ass from the seat and allows for the Wizard to sit. With a sigh of relief...)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Thaaaaaank you.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs takes a seat and the chair shatters to splinters a moment after he sits down. He topples over onto the floor with the chair particles.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: God dammit.
(Off Constantly rubs his head)
Off Constantly: Shit.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs uses the computer desk and pulls himself up to his knees. He kneels in front of the monitor and looks back at the oaf.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You're buying a new chair.
Off Constantly: Psshh, with what money?
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs drops his head on top of the keyboard.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Shit.
(The screen goes blue.)
Off Constantly: What did you do to the email?
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs looks up quickly at the blue screen.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: WHAT? FLAGRANT ERROR?!?! NOOOOOO!!!!
(The scene cuts to black.)
Off Constantly: Hey, you've got mail.
(The camera turns around and Off Constantly is shown huddled over the computer.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh yea?
(The camera turns back around to the Wizard still flipping channels.)
Off Constantly: Yea.
(The camera turns back to Off Constantly, still at the computer.)
The Wizard of Ahhhs: What's it about?
(The camera turns back to the Wizard of Ahhhhs, still watching TV, but can't find anything interesting.)
Off Constantly: One of those training schools got back to you about wrestling classes.
(The camera turns back to Off Constantly, talking about an email, but at the computer.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Who's it from?
(The camera turns back to the Wizard of Ahhhhs, getting frustrated with the TV.)
Off Constantly: Chris Freytag.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs stops on the Disney channel and slowly gets up off the couch and walks over to the computer. Thank god, now I don't have to write the constant back and forth motion of the camera. The Wizard of Ahhhhs tries to look over Off Constantly's shoulder. Off Constantly moves so he can see, but he moved into the space that the Wizard was looking. The Wizard gives a disgruntled look and moves to the other side.)
Off Constantly: Sorry, I'll move.
(Off Constantly moves over, but again, he is in the same spot that the Wizard is in. The Wizard moves over to his other shoulder.)
Off Constantly: My bad.
(Off Constantly moves over again, back to his first position. The Wizard moves over to the other side.)
Off Constantly: Which way are you going?
(Off Constantly moves over to the other side, blocking the Wizard's view unintentionally. The Wizard has had it up to here.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: CHRIST! MOVE OUT OF THE FUCKING CHAIR!!
(Off Constantly turns and pushes off the chair with his hands. The chair creeks a bit uneasily, but he removes his huge ass from the seat and allows for the Wizard to sit. With a sigh of relief...)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Thaaaaaank you.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs takes a seat and the chair shatters to splinters a moment after he sits down. He topples over onto the floor with the chair particles.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: God dammit.
(Off Constantly rubs his head)
Off Constantly: Shit.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs uses the computer desk and pulls himself up to his knees. He kneels in front of the monitor and looks back at the oaf.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You're buying a new chair.
Off Constantly: Psshh, with what money?
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs drops his head on top of the keyboard.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Shit.
(The screen goes blue.)
Off Constantly: What did you do to the email?
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs looks up quickly at the blue screen.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: WHAT? FLAGRANT ERROR?!?! NOOOOOO!!!!
(The scene cuts to black.)