Post by Eno Redrum on Sept 26, 2008 22:52:56 GMT -5
Telephone rings
Commish Hardon: Hello
Fag Man (Dragzilla): Hello, um Commish Hardon, me and Fat Ass are just curious, is there any crime to fight. We are just sitting around the fag Cave bored off our asses.
Commish Hardon: Well, let me check my crime report, okay?
Click
Fag Man: okay then, I guess we will talk to him later.
Butler: Hey sillies, what are you two up to? No crime today?
Fat Ass: nope, no crime today.
Butler: Well I'll tell you what I am going to do. I am going to teach you both a little trick. This trick, it's called a German Paratrooper.
Fat Ass: Cool, I love tricks, and white women too!
Butler: What you do is hang your ass over a two story window and SQUUEEEZZEEEE. . .
Fag Man: OMG! That is just too much, even for me.
Ring, ring
Fag Man: Hello COmmish, thank God you just called.
Commish Hardon: Um yes, I just checked my crime report and there is no crime to report whatsoever.
Fag Man: You're kidding? There is no crime?
Commish: nope, no crime, but I have a good Knock Knock joke. Knock, knock.
Silence
Commish: You're suppose to say Who's There.
Fag Man: Okay, whatever.
Click
Fat Ass: Well, what the fuck was that?
Fag Man: Evidentally, there is no crime. Okay, so here's the plan. We have to make crime in order to fight crime.Oh, I got it! We should make CRACK!
[glow=red,2,300]THEME MUSIC[/glow]
Announcer: MEANWHILE, back at the Fag Cave!
Fag Man: Alright, the PSI is looking good, the temperature is looking good...
Fat Ass: Fag Man, I look fucking stupid in this outfit. What the fuck are we doing?
Fag Man: Listen you chicken wing eating fat tub of lard, we are going to make some crack, then we're going to sell the crack and then the people that buy the crack, we're going to arrest those people and then we're going to look like fucking heroes! this plan is brilliant, even my lady friend thinks so.
Paris Hilton: That's hot!
Ring, ring!
Fag Man: Hello!
Commish: Hey, where are you with that crack dammit?!
Fag Man: Um, we're working on it, okay? Give us like 10 more minutes okay?
Commish: Let me tell you something Fag Man! We need that crack right now! And don't know what I need to do to get some crack on the streets so we can make it seem to the people of this city that we know what the hell we are doing?
Fag Man: pplease calm down. We're working on the problem and we will have it ready just as soon as possible.
Commish: Listen here you flaming asshole! We need that crack and we need it now!
Click
Fag Man: Okay Fat Ass, we need to get hustling on this crack.
Fat Ass: Okay. So what's the next step?
Fag Man: Well, I'm going to put it through this fancy fag Man machine and you know what it's going to make? It's going to make Fag Crack! Everyone's finally going to get a taste of Fag Man's crack! This is amazing!
Fat Ass: But wait, I'm going to make Fag Crack with these hands?
Fag Man: Listen Fat Ass, Fag Crack is the wave of the future.
Fat Ass: But doesnt this diturbe the balance of the justice system? I mean, we're supose to be the good guys. This is bad.
Fag Man: SHUT UP! We're going to make Fag Crack! Everyone's going to have a taste of my crack and it's going to be shaped like lollipops and it will be the best crack anyone has ever licked in their entire life because it's my crack! Now put on your mask and let'smake some crack!
Fat Ass: Um, maybe you should calm down man. I mean, I don't mean to get in the way, but. . .
Fag Man: SHUT UP AND MAKE THE CRACK!
Fat Ass: Okay, I'll just put on my mask and shut the hell up because you have obviously gone off the deep end. Okay so we're going to make the crack, then sell the crack, arrest the people that buy the crack and become heroes.
Fag Man: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I already described that part about five minutes ago dammit. Anyway, here we go! I'm going to turn this knob and PRESTO, the machine will now make the FAG CRACK!
Machine begins to beep and whistle and then dispenses lollipops in a rainbow of "fruity" colors.
Fat Ass: Um wow, it's kind of rainbow-y color.
Fag Man: Oh course Fat Ass, it's FAG CRACK. What color would you expect! It's crack for gay people.
Announcer: Tune in next week as our caped crusaders will help the Commish with his "penis problem."
This episode has been brought to you by God. That's right, God. The imaginary person you never pay attention to unless you are down on your luck and then all of the sudden you acted as if you really give a rat's ass about him, his son or his word.
Commish Hardon: Hello
Fag Man (Dragzilla): Hello, um Commish Hardon, me and Fat Ass are just curious, is there any crime to fight. We are just sitting around the fag Cave bored off our asses.
Commish Hardon: Well, let me check my crime report, okay?
Click
Fag Man: okay then, I guess we will talk to him later.
Butler: Hey sillies, what are you two up to? No crime today?
Fat Ass: nope, no crime today.
Butler: Well I'll tell you what I am going to do. I am going to teach you both a little trick. This trick, it's called a German Paratrooper.
Fat Ass: Cool, I love tricks, and white women too!
Butler: What you do is hang your ass over a two story window and SQUUEEEZZEEEE. . .
Fag Man: OMG! That is just too much, even for me.
Ring, ring
Fag Man: Hello COmmish, thank God you just called.
Commish Hardon: Um yes, I just checked my crime report and there is no crime to report whatsoever.
Fag Man: You're kidding? There is no crime?
Commish: nope, no crime, but I have a good Knock Knock joke. Knock, knock.
Silence
Commish: You're suppose to say Who's There.
Fag Man: Okay, whatever.
Click
Fat Ass: Well, what the fuck was that?
Fag Man: Evidentally, there is no crime. Okay, so here's the plan. We have to make crime in order to fight crime.Oh, I got it! We should make CRACK!
[glow=red,2,300]THEME MUSIC[/glow]
Announcer: MEANWHILE, back at the Fag Cave!
Fag Man: Alright, the PSI is looking good, the temperature is looking good...
Fat Ass: Fag Man, I look fucking stupid in this outfit. What the fuck are we doing?
Fag Man: Listen you chicken wing eating fat tub of lard, we are going to make some crack, then we're going to sell the crack and then the people that buy the crack, we're going to arrest those people and then we're going to look like fucking heroes! this plan is brilliant, even my lady friend thinks so.
Paris Hilton: That's hot!
Ring, ring!
Fag Man: Hello!
Commish: Hey, where are you with that crack dammit?!
Fag Man: Um, we're working on it, okay? Give us like 10 more minutes okay?
Commish: Let me tell you something Fag Man! We need that crack right now! And don't know what I need to do to get some crack on the streets so we can make it seem to the people of this city that we know what the hell we are doing?
Fag Man: pplease calm down. We're working on the problem and we will have it ready just as soon as possible.
Commish: Listen here you flaming asshole! We need that crack and we need it now!
Click
Fag Man: Okay Fat Ass, we need to get hustling on this crack.
Fat Ass: Okay. So what's the next step?
Fag Man: Well, I'm going to put it through this fancy fag Man machine and you know what it's going to make? It's going to make Fag Crack! Everyone's finally going to get a taste of Fag Man's crack! This is amazing!
Fat Ass: But wait, I'm going to make Fag Crack with these hands?
Fag Man: Listen Fat Ass, Fag Crack is the wave of the future.
Fat Ass: But doesnt this diturbe the balance of the justice system? I mean, we're supose to be the good guys. This is bad.
Fag Man: SHUT UP! We're going to make Fag Crack! Everyone's going to have a taste of my crack and it's going to be shaped like lollipops and it will be the best crack anyone has ever licked in their entire life because it's my crack! Now put on your mask and let'smake some crack!
Fat Ass: Um, maybe you should calm down man. I mean, I don't mean to get in the way, but. . .
Fag Man: SHUT UP AND MAKE THE CRACK!
Fat Ass: Okay, I'll just put on my mask and shut the hell up because you have obviously gone off the deep end. Okay so we're going to make the crack, then sell the crack, arrest the people that buy the crack and become heroes.
Fag Man: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I already described that part about five minutes ago dammit. Anyway, here we go! I'm going to turn this knob and PRESTO, the machine will now make the FAG CRACK!
Machine begins to beep and whistle and then dispenses lollipops in a rainbow of "fruity" colors.
Fat Ass: Um wow, it's kind of rainbow-y color.
Fag Man: Oh course Fat Ass, it's FAG CRACK. What color would you expect! It's crack for gay people.
Announcer: Tune in next week as our caped crusaders will help the Commish with his "penis problem."
This episode has been brought to you by God. That's right, God. The imaginary person you never pay attention to unless you are down on your luck and then all of the sudden you acted as if you really give a rat's ass about him, his son or his word.
