Post by andrei on Sept 27, 2008 3:36:05 GMT -5
I sit at the table, and all I can think is, “This is the biggest announcement of my life-“
Britney Clark leans over to her fiancé and whispers angrily in his ear-
-Where the hell is Tomas Luger?
Once again, Brit is right there to finish my thoughts.
Andrei Karishnikov leans over to her and whispers back-
-I have no idea. I was just wondering the same thing.
The couple have invited their closest friends and colleagues to an upscale restaurant for what is supposed to be a big announcement. Andrei is seated at the head of the table and to his right is Britney Clark. To The Angel King’s left sits his close friend (and Britney’s ex-husband) Brian Clark. Next to Brian is his new pupil Colt Crawford. There’s an empty seat next to Colt and two next to Britney. The man formerly known as Panther clears the air-
-So, King, are you nervous about getting back in the ring?
-Only a little.
I lie. I’m completely nervous. I’ve done well for myself outside of the squared circle. I have nothing left to really accomplish in the ring. I’ve won World Heavyweight Belts, I’ve garnered the respect of my peers and the fans, I’ve made several life long friends and found the love of my life thanks to this sport. What the fuck am I doing?
Colt leans into the conversation.
-So, what does Luger think about you wrestling someone from his stable?
Britney doesn’t even give Andrei a chance to respond.
-We could ask him if he’d show up. Honey-
She turns to AK with those loveable, swayable doe eyes of hers.
-Can we please order? I’m starving, and Tomas can just order late or not at all at this point. It’s been half an hour-
She’s never understood why I stand by Tomas, especially now. I love her, but she can be a complete bitch sometimes.
-Sure, let’s order some appetizers and see if he makes it soon.
As if on cue, a waiter comes into the private meeting room that the four are seated in. He heads over to Andrei as the former TWF Heavyweight Champ peruses the menu selections.
-What would you recommend?
The waiter looks over the menu, over Karishnikov’s shoulder-
-The salads are all very good, monsieur
What am I, a goat?
Britney jumps right in-
-I’ll have the Caesar with an apple martini please-
-Very good, mademoiselle. Monsieur?
Andrei passes to Clark and Crawford to order.
I’m not hungry, to tell the truth. All I can think about is the important decision that’s at hand. I slated this little dinner to announce our wedding date and name a best man, but I haven’t figured out the latter yet. Britney wants neither, but said Brian would be a better choice. I can’t turn my back on Luger like that...
Britney leans back over to Andrei.
-So, are you going to wait for Tomas for everything?
Like I said, I love her...
Andrei leans back over to his love.
-Patience, the choices aren’t going to change by the time he gets here.
Britney kisses The Eternal Flame’s earlobe and Brian Clark looks away noticeably and sips on his glass of water. Colt, again, breaks the silence.
-Forgive me for asking, Mr. Karishnikov, but why are you making a comeback anyway?
I want to tell him the truth, “I don’t know kiddo...”, but instead I lie.
-I feel like I owe these fans a proper send off. I have a few things I’d like to see to the end in the ring, and this seems like the place to do it. The time feels right so I said to myself, “Self, let’s green light this comeback”.
Brian, who’s been fairly quiet and awkward the whole time finally chimes in-
-It couldn’t possibly be to fund an elaborate, and completely unaffordable wedding that someone is demanding, could it?
I smile. It’s not true, of course. Thanks to the OWL and other investments, I’m independently wealthy several times over. Even Ray Jones would be slightly proud of how I’ve learned from Juggernaut ENT. and flipped wrestling into something much more.
Britney shoots Brian a dirty look
-At least he’s not going to try to shotgun us in Vegas, you cheap ass-
Brian looks like he’s about to say something else slightly smarmy at Brit’s expense when a commotion breaks up the fun in the dinning room
-AND I TOLD YOU I DON’T OWN A BLACK TIE, DICK!!!
Sounds like Tomas and the gang arrived.
Britney sours and her and Brian share an intriguing glance. Andrei takes the napkin off his lap and rises.
-I should go resolve this, that sounds like Tomas.
Before Andrei can make a motion toward the door, a waiter comes flying through it and crashing into the opposite wall, spilling salads and soups and breads all over the place. Andrei shakes his head an Britney looks like a woman possessed. Brian chuckles to himself and Colt just sits in his green deisbelief. Luger enters the room moments later wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and jeans. Alexis is dressed to the nines in a pencil skirt, stilettos and a spaghetti strap, cleavage revealing shirt. Humphries is at least wearing a sport coat that’s five sizes too big and a polo shirt. Luger looks down at the waiter.
-When you bring back fresh food, I’ll have a crab louie and a whiskey sour. Lex’ll have a crab salad and a cosmo and the kid’s having chicken fingers or something comparable and rum and coke-
Alexis slaps Luger on the shoulder.
-Fine, just a cherry coke.
Luger takes his seat next to Crawford. Alexis hugs Britney and sits next to her as the girls immediately fall into small talk, mostly involving how much of a disgrace Luger is. Humphries sits next to Alexis and waves and smiles at Andrei.
Tomas doesn’t make life easy, Christ!
-Hey, buddy. Say, next time I invite you to a free meal, could you not assault the staff?
-F that, those chumps weren’t going to let us in because I was “underdressed”. Like I’m not a celebrity-
Britney grabs her knife
-Probably because you’re not you piece of sh-
Andrei grabs Brit’s hand and she give him the “you better handle him” look.
-Tom, I’m glad you finally got here. I have an important announcement to make.
Again, I lie, only no one knows it yet.
AK rises and “dings” on his water glass with his fork.
-Ahem-I wanted to say that Britney and I have set a date for the wedding.
Lex immediately hugs Britney, who flips the switch and is beaming now. Luger rolls his eyes. Colt claps and Brian claps AK on the arm and gives him a wink and a thumbs up.
-We’ve also decided on the wedding party. Brit, you wanna share your maid of honor news?
Brit stands and gives Alexis a nearly tear filled glance, which causes Alexis to nearly tear up. The Brit chokes up and Alexis looks shocked. Brit nods and the two women hug and cry. Clark rolls his eyes this time and turns up to King.
-Why don’t you share who your best man’s gonna be-
Luger leans back in his chair.
-Pft! Like this was a choice-
Clark looks a little miffed by Tomas’ comment, but doesn’t dignify it with a look or a response.
-Alright, well, then...
I pray that no one sees through my stall tactic.
Before Andrei can finish his thought, two police officers enter the room and the frightened waiter points at Tomas Luger. Luger immediately stands up and Andrei walks over to Luger’s side. One of the officers puts his hand on Luger’s shoulder.
-Sir, did you-
Shit, Tomas.
-Officer, I’m sorry. We’re on our way out now-
Britney and Alexis both look pissed, but everyone else begins gathering their coats and heading out. Andrei pulls out several hundred dollar bills and hands them to the waiter.
-Sorry.
But not as sorry as I’m gonna be when I get home.
-C’mon, let’s just get a burger everyone.
Britney and Alexis storm out. The cops release Luger and the waiter counts the bills and smiles. Clark stops Karishnikov.
-C’mon, King. It’s gotta be me, buddy.
I wish I could tell him, but honestly, I just don’t know.
-Actually, I was going to make my announcement at Showdown!
Clark smiles.
-Nice touch.
Not really. I’m a terrible liar.
****
This business, gentlemen, is founded on lies. Everything we do is a lie. We’re not athletes, we’re fibbers. We don’t wrestle, we tell tall tales to the people and hope they believe us.
When Rob Blondie blows up two guys in a building, remember he’s Your Favorite ACTOR.
When Tomas Luger panders for money, keep in mind that he’s the number one contender in a successful wrestling federation.
When The Wizard of Ahhhs says that you can’t beat Off Constantly...I just think about all the times I shared an apartment with Luger.
Adam Young isn't a bad ass, he just plays one on TV.
I'm willing to bet that Marcus T isn't even dead.
That's right, even in "death" he's still a liar through his clique.
We all live in a world of deceit and untruths and we hope, daily, that our lies are better than our opponent’s lies.
Luke Savage isn’t a porn star, he’s barely a wrestler. He’s pimping you an image and hoping desperately that you buy it. He gets himself an attractive woman, pretends to have some sex and hopes you think he’s cool enough to get fan support.
Luke Savage is as transparent and obvious as the rest of the lot around here.
Is his lie better than my lie? Can he sell his tall tale, better than I can peddle mine?
The simple fact of the matter is: No.
What is my lie? Can you catch me telling an untruth? Sure I’ve pointed out several, but those aren’t my “lies”. They’re lies, to be sure, but they’re not the fibs I’ve based a career around.
I’m not going to sit here and push my image around. I’m not some smack dealer, selling vials of believability to all the pathetic addicts.
I’m the truth. Plain and simple.
And maybe that’s my lie...
But you’ll never know, until the very last second, when, in my moment of greatest truth, I pull the veil back and reveal my hideous lie.
Until then, enjoy the ride and believe the lie. It’s all we have to give you.
FADE OUT
Britney Clark leans over to her fiancé and whispers angrily in his ear-
-Where the hell is Tomas Luger?
Once again, Brit is right there to finish my thoughts.
Andrei Karishnikov leans over to her and whispers back-
-I have no idea. I was just wondering the same thing.
The couple have invited their closest friends and colleagues to an upscale restaurant for what is supposed to be a big announcement. Andrei is seated at the head of the table and to his right is Britney Clark. To The Angel King’s left sits his close friend (and Britney’s ex-husband) Brian Clark. Next to Brian is his new pupil Colt Crawford. There’s an empty seat next to Colt and two next to Britney. The man formerly known as Panther clears the air-
-So, King, are you nervous about getting back in the ring?
-Only a little.
I lie. I’m completely nervous. I’ve done well for myself outside of the squared circle. I have nothing left to really accomplish in the ring. I’ve won World Heavyweight Belts, I’ve garnered the respect of my peers and the fans, I’ve made several life long friends and found the love of my life thanks to this sport. What the fuck am I doing?
Colt leans into the conversation.
-So, what does Luger think about you wrestling someone from his stable?
Britney doesn’t even give Andrei a chance to respond.
-We could ask him if he’d show up. Honey-
She turns to AK with those loveable, swayable doe eyes of hers.
-Can we please order? I’m starving, and Tomas can just order late or not at all at this point. It’s been half an hour-
She’s never understood why I stand by Tomas, especially now. I love her, but she can be a complete bitch sometimes.
-Sure, let’s order some appetizers and see if he makes it soon.
As if on cue, a waiter comes into the private meeting room that the four are seated in. He heads over to Andrei as the former TWF Heavyweight Champ peruses the menu selections.
-What would you recommend?
The waiter looks over the menu, over Karishnikov’s shoulder-
-The salads are all very good, monsieur
What am I, a goat?
Britney jumps right in-
-I’ll have the Caesar with an apple martini please-
-Very good, mademoiselle. Monsieur?
Andrei passes to Clark and Crawford to order.
I’m not hungry, to tell the truth. All I can think about is the important decision that’s at hand. I slated this little dinner to announce our wedding date and name a best man, but I haven’t figured out the latter yet. Britney wants neither, but said Brian would be a better choice. I can’t turn my back on Luger like that...
Britney leans back over to Andrei.
-So, are you going to wait for Tomas for everything?
Like I said, I love her...
Andrei leans back over to his love.
-Patience, the choices aren’t going to change by the time he gets here.
Britney kisses The Eternal Flame’s earlobe and Brian Clark looks away noticeably and sips on his glass of water. Colt, again, breaks the silence.
-Forgive me for asking, Mr. Karishnikov, but why are you making a comeback anyway?
I want to tell him the truth, “I don’t know kiddo...”, but instead I lie.
-I feel like I owe these fans a proper send off. I have a few things I’d like to see to the end in the ring, and this seems like the place to do it. The time feels right so I said to myself, “Self, let’s green light this comeback”.
Brian, who’s been fairly quiet and awkward the whole time finally chimes in-
-It couldn’t possibly be to fund an elaborate, and completely unaffordable wedding that someone is demanding, could it?
I smile. It’s not true, of course. Thanks to the OWL and other investments, I’m independently wealthy several times over. Even Ray Jones would be slightly proud of how I’ve learned from Juggernaut ENT. and flipped wrestling into something much more.
Britney shoots Brian a dirty look
-At least he’s not going to try to shotgun us in Vegas, you cheap ass-
Brian looks like he’s about to say something else slightly smarmy at Brit’s expense when a commotion breaks up the fun in the dinning room
-AND I TOLD YOU I DON’T OWN A BLACK TIE, DICK!!!
Sounds like Tomas and the gang arrived.
Britney sours and her and Brian share an intriguing glance. Andrei takes the napkin off his lap and rises.
-I should go resolve this, that sounds like Tomas.
Before Andrei can make a motion toward the door, a waiter comes flying through it and crashing into the opposite wall, spilling salads and soups and breads all over the place. Andrei shakes his head an Britney looks like a woman possessed. Brian chuckles to himself and Colt just sits in his green deisbelief. Luger enters the room moments later wearing nothing more than a t-shirt and jeans. Alexis is dressed to the nines in a pencil skirt, stilettos and a spaghetti strap, cleavage revealing shirt. Humphries is at least wearing a sport coat that’s five sizes too big and a polo shirt. Luger looks down at the waiter.
-When you bring back fresh food, I’ll have a crab louie and a whiskey sour. Lex’ll have a crab salad and a cosmo and the kid’s having chicken fingers or something comparable and rum and coke-
Alexis slaps Luger on the shoulder.
-Fine, just a cherry coke.
Luger takes his seat next to Crawford. Alexis hugs Britney and sits next to her as the girls immediately fall into small talk, mostly involving how much of a disgrace Luger is. Humphries sits next to Alexis and waves and smiles at Andrei.
Tomas doesn’t make life easy, Christ!
-Hey, buddy. Say, next time I invite you to a free meal, could you not assault the staff?
-F that, those chumps weren’t going to let us in because I was “underdressed”. Like I’m not a celebrity-
Britney grabs her knife
-Probably because you’re not you piece of sh-
Andrei grabs Brit’s hand and she give him the “you better handle him” look.
-Tom, I’m glad you finally got here. I have an important announcement to make.
Again, I lie, only no one knows it yet.
AK rises and “dings” on his water glass with his fork.
-Ahem-I wanted to say that Britney and I have set a date for the wedding.
Lex immediately hugs Britney, who flips the switch and is beaming now. Luger rolls his eyes. Colt claps and Brian claps AK on the arm and gives him a wink and a thumbs up.
-We’ve also decided on the wedding party. Brit, you wanna share your maid of honor news?
Brit stands and gives Alexis a nearly tear filled glance, which causes Alexis to nearly tear up. The Brit chokes up and Alexis looks shocked. Brit nods and the two women hug and cry. Clark rolls his eyes this time and turns up to King.
-Why don’t you share who your best man’s gonna be-
Luger leans back in his chair.
-Pft! Like this was a choice-
Clark looks a little miffed by Tomas’ comment, but doesn’t dignify it with a look or a response.
-Alright, well, then...
I pray that no one sees through my stall tactic.
Before Andrei can finish his thought, two police officers enter the room and the frightened waiter points at Tomas Luger. Luger immediately stands up and Andrei walks over to Luger’s side. One of the officers puts his hand on Luger’s shoulder.
-Sir, did you-
Shit, Tomas.
-Officer, I’m sorry. We’re on our way out now-
Britney and Alexis both look pissed, but everyone else begins gathering their coats and heading out. Andrei pulls out several hundred dollar bills and hands them to the waiter.
-Sorry.
But not as sorry as I’m gonna be when I get home.
-C’mon, let’s just get a burger everyone.
Britney and Alexis storm out. The cops release Luger and the waiter counts the bills and smiles. Clark stops Karishnikov.
-C’mon, King. It’s gotta be me, buddy.
I wish I could tell him, but honestly, I just don’t know.
-Actually, I was going to make my announcement at Showdown!
Clark smiles.
-Nice touch.
Not really. I’m a terrible liar.
****
This business, gentlemen, is founded on lies. Everything we do is a lie. We’re not athletes, we’re fibbers. We don’t wrestle, we tell tall tales to the people and hope they believe us.
When Rob Blondie blows up two guys in a building, remember he’s Your Favorite ACTOR.
When Tomas Luger panders for money, keep in mind that he’s the number one contender in a successful wrestling federation.
When The Wizard of Ahhhs says that you can’t beat Off Constantly...I just think about all the times I shared an apartment with Luger.
Adam Young isn't a bad ass, he just plays one on TV.
I'm willing to bet that Marcus T isn't even dead.
That's right, even in "death" he's still a liar through his clique.
We all live in a world of deceit and untruths and we hope, daily, that our lies are better than our opponent’s lies.
Luke Savage isn’t a porn star, he’s barely a wrestler. He’s pimping you an image and hoping desperately that you buy it. He gets himself an attractive woman, pretends to have some sex and hopes you think he’s cool enough to get fan support.
Luke Savage is as transparent and obvious as the rest of the lot around here.
Is his lie better than my lie? Can he sell his tall tale, better than I can peddle mine?
The simple fact of the matter is: No.
What is my lie? Can you catch me telling an untruth? Sure I’ve pointed out several, but those aren’t my “lies”. They’re lies, to be sure, but they’re not the fibs I’ve based a career around.
I’m not going to sit here and push my image around. I’m not some smack dealer, selling vials of believability to all the pathetic addicts.
I’m the truth. Plain and simple.
And maybe that’s my lie...
But you’ll never know, until the very last second, when, in my moment of greatest truth, I pull the veil back and reveal my hideous lie.
Until then, enjoy the ride and believe the lie. It’s all we have to give you.
FADE OUT