Post by The Wizard of Ahhhhs on Sept 28, 2008 12:24:48 GMT -5
(The scene opens. The Wizard of Ahhhhs and Off Constantly are in a locker room. Off Constantly is all tangled up in a shirt. The Wizard assists.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: No, you need to put your arm through that hole right there.
Off Constantly: I can't see with the shirt over my head. Which hole?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: This one.
(The Wizard holds up a shirt hole. Moments later, Off Constantly's head presses through the hole.)
Off Constantly: Am I good?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hardly. Stick your head back through that hole.
(Off Constantly tries to retrace his steps.)
Off Constantly: I can't get it to do right.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: This is actually a lot easier than it appears man.
Off Constantly: Speak for yourself, you're not wearing one.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hold on a second, I'm going to break you out of this mess. Stay put.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs disappears from the room. He comes back a minute later with a pair of scissors in hand.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hold still.
(Rather than cutting the shirt off, he cuts a new hole for Off Constantly's arm to slip through.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: There.
Off Constantly: Does it look alright?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: There is no way of knowing that. Let's go.
(The two walk out of the locker room. They enter a wide open room with mats on the floors. With Off Constantly in tow, the Wizard peers around.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hello?
(The quietness of the room echoes his voice.)
Off Constantly: lo...lo...lo...lo...
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs looks back, as it wasn't the room echoing back.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: That's not necessary.
Off Constantly: For effect.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs nods and they look around. A man steps out of another room. His body is defined and his thin, shoulder-length, dark hair hangs gently off his head. He is wearing an "Assassin" t-shirt. Dressed in cut off blue jeans, he steps forward to the two.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hey there.
Off Constantly: Wow.. Chris Freytag.
Chris Freytag: In the flesh.
Off Constantly: I'm a big fan.
Chris Freytag: Thanks.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hey, I'm me.
Chris Freytag: Yes, you are. I'm going to get right to the point, because I'm on your dime. I've watched you in the ring and let me tell you, this is going to be tougher than I think you are ready for. Wrestling isn't a game. It isn't a profession. It is a work of art. Poetry in motion. In order to make your way through my training, you will need to be physically and mentally strong. You are neither.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: That's not completely accurate. My large friend here? Rather mental.
(Chris Freytag eyes up Off Constantly from head to toe.)
Chris Freytag: Your friend here has a knack for throwing people around, but doesn't seem to have to knowledge to accomplish one of the most mundane tasks, like putting a shirt on properly.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Well that's okay. We worked around that.
Chris Freytag: Listen. As is, you are not ready to even begin in ring training with me. I need you on a level of physical and mental health that you are not at yet. Today, we are going to talk "shop". I watched you in the ring. You're greener than green can be.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Excuse me.
Chris Freytag: Something to add?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Are you color blind?
Chris Freytag: No.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh alright, because I'm kind of pale.
(Chris Freytag looks at him cross. He takes a deep breath)
Chris Freytag: Green.... it's a description of someone who isn't terribly skilled in the ring. They look like an amateur, compared to someone who has been in a great many matches. You on the other hand.. will be aspiring to even reach the level of amateur status.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh, I gotcha.
Chris Freytag: Here's the thing about you. Despite how much you suck... and trust me.. you really suck.... I do see a lot of potential in you.
Off Constantly: You might be the only one.
(The Wizard turns, raising an open palmed hand, ready to give Off Constantly a chop. He stares blankly back at him.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Sssss.
Chris Freytag: Easy. What I see in you is that you are smaller than the majority of other wrestlers in the business. Your size allows you the ability to be quicker and more agile. So that is what we are going to work on for a while. We are going to improve your agility. We are going to improve your reflexes and anticipation. We are going to get you into better shape.
Off Constantly: Yea, he kinda looks like a pear as is.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Everyone looks like a pear.
Off Constantly: No one wants to eat you though.
(Chris Freytag walks over to a wall and produces a pair of jump ropes. He walks over and hands them over to the guys.)
Chris Freytag: I assume you know what these are and how to use them.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You serious?
Chris Freytag: Yes. Get to work. I'll be back in 20 minutes. Do not stop until I get back.
(Chris Freytag nods and walks out of the room. The Wizard of Ahhhs looks back at Off Constantly, who has already began jumping rope. He looks down at the jump rope in his hands and then begins jumping rope. The scene cuts.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: No, you need to put your arm through that hole right there.
Off Constantly: I can't see with the shirt over my head. Which hole?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: This one.
(The Wizard holds up a shirt hole. Moments later, Off Constantly's head presses through the hole.)
Off Constantly: Am I good?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hardly. Stick your head back through that hole.
(Off Constantly tries to retrace his steps.)
Off Constantly: I can't get it to do right.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: This is actually a lot easier than it appears man.
Off Constantly: Speak for yourself, you're not wearing one.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hold on a second, I'm going to break you out of this mess. Stay put.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs disappears from the room. He comes back a minute later with a pair of scissors in hand.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hold still.
(Rather than cutting the shirt off, he cuts a new hole for Off Constantly's arm to slip through.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: There.
Off Constantly: Does it look alright?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: There is no way of knowing that. Let's go.
(The two walk out of the locker room. They enter a wide open room with mats on the floors. With Off Constantly in tow, the Wizard peers around.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hello?
(The quietness of the room echoes his voice.)
Off Constantly: lo...lo...lo...lo...
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs looks back, as it wasn't the room echoing back.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: That's not necessary.
Off Constantly: For effect.
(The Wizard of Ahhhhs nods and they look around. A man steps out of another room. His body is defined and his thin, shoulder-length, dark hair hangs gently off his head. He is wearing an "Assassin" t-shirt. Dressed in cut off blue jeans, he steps forward to the two.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hey there.
Off Constantly: Wow.. Chris Freytag.
Chris Freytag: In the flesh.
Off Constantly: I'm a big fan.
Chris Freytag: Thanks.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Hey, I'm me.
Chris Freytag: Yes, you are. I'm going to get right to the point, because I'm on your dime. I've watched you in the ring and let me tell you, this is going to be tougher than I think you are ready for. Wrestling isn't a game. It isn't a profession. It is a work of art. Poetry in motion. In order to make your way through my training, you will need to be physically and mentally strong. You are neither.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: That's not completely accurate. My large friend here? Rather mental.
(Chris Freytag eyes up Off Constantly from head to toe.)
Chris Freytag: Your friend here has a knack for throwing people around, but doesn't seem to have to knowledge to accomplish one of the most mundane tasks, like putting a shirt on properly.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Well that's okay. We worked around that.
Chris Freytag: Listen. As is, you are not ready to even begin in ring training with me. I need you on a level of physical and mental health that you are not at yet. Today, we are going to talk "shop". I watched you in the ring. You're greener than green can be.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Excuse me.
Chris Freytag: Something to add?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Are you color blind?
Chris Freytag: No.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh alright, because I'm kind of pale.
(Chris Freytag looks at him cross. He takes a deep breath)
Chris Freytag: Green.... it's a description of someone who isn't terribly skilled in the ring. They look like an amateur, compared to someone who has been in a great many matches. You on the other hand.. will be aspiring to even reach the level of amateur status.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh, I gotcha.
Chris Freytag: Here's the thing about you. Despite how much you suck... and trust me.. you really suck.... I do see a lot of potential in you.
Off Constantly: You might be the only one.
(The Wizard turns, raising an open palmed hand, ready to give Off Constantly a chop. He stares blankly back at him.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Sssss.
Chris Freytag: Easy. What I see in you is that you are smaller than the majority of other wrestlers in the business. Your size allows you the ability to be quicker and more agile. So that is what we are going to work on for a while. We are going to improve your agility. We are going to improve your reflexes and anticipation. We are going to get you into better shape.
Off Constantly: Yea, he kinda looks like a pear as is.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Everyone looks like a pear.
Off Constantly: No one wants to eat you though.
(Chris Freytag walks over to a wall and produces a pair of jump ropes. He walks over and hands them over to the guys.)
Chris Freytag: I assume you know what these are and how to use them.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You serious?
Chris Freytag: Yes. Get to work. I'll be back in 20 minutes. Do not stop until I get back.
(Chris Freytag nods and walks out of the room. The Wizard of Ahhhs looks back at Off Constantly, who has already began jumping rope. He looks down at the jump rope in his hands and then begins jumping rope. The scene cuts.)