Post by Rob Blondie on Oct 10, 2008 14:26:34 GMT -5
Your Favorite Actor, the Attraction, and the man that isn’t used to not getting what he wants…Rob Blondie…has been questioned by the police, the DA, the Governor, the FBI, the CIA, the IRS, the Mounties, and every government agencies in between about his involvement in the “accidental” deaths of Kingpin’s cronies and the not-so-accidental death of Marcus T. We now see him sitting in his new Fort Worth office. He’s staring out the window at the landscape below. Suddenly, Ashley “formerly known as” Blondie bursts into the office.
Ashley: What the Hell is this, Rob?
Ashley is flashing some sort of paperwork in his face.
YFA: I assume that is the request to the courts for full custody of Brandy and Don.
Ashley: What are you doing? You agreed to give me custody, Rob.
YFA: Yes, we all make mistakes, Ashley. I made several of the them the past several years. Marrying you was a fairly large one. Letting you take the children was one of the biggest. However, I am working to fix many of my mistakes.
Ashley: You honestly think a judge will hand the children to a man that is accused of murder, who gave them up from the get go, and a man that has shown very little interest in them since?
YFA: (smiles) Ashley, I have learned more than just from the mistakes I made in my personal life. I’ve also learned from my mistakes in my professional life. I have learned that in both cases, letting things go only means they will come back to bite you latter. I am taking care of the open sore that is Kingpin as I should have before. He may have come up with an excuse to hide from me, but he will eventually raise his head out of his hole and I severe it when he does….
Ashley looks shocked.
YFA: …as for you, my dear, I trusted you too deeply and you used it against me in our divorce. The old me would have just wrote it off as typical for my love life…but the new me won’t let it go anymore.
Ashley: You still have to get a Judge to listen to you and your very public, idiotic and insane behavior will prove to any judge…
YFA: Oh, not any judge, Ash. Certain judges enjoy living well. Certain judges enjoy the attractive women, the coke, and the cash. Particularly the one that will be hearing our case.
Ashley: Bastard...
Ashley starts to tear up.
Ashley: What happened to you, Rob? Where is the man I fell in love with? Where is the man that would do anything to protect me and his children?
Rob looks deeply into his ex-wife’s eyes.
YFA: You wounded him severely. Kingpin killed him completely. Both of you are going to wish you had done neither. As for my children, they will be protected. Much more so than being with you. Now, you can leave and, please, only speak to me through our lawyers. That’s what they are there for, after all.
Ashley looks as if she could kill, but she runs out as she breaks down.
YFA: Yes, I am the Bastard. I am the Scumbag. I am the cold Son-of-a-Bitch. Kingpin, I have learned my lessons and I have gained further knowledge as I have worn my crown of shit.
Rob watches Ashley get into her car to drive away. He sees one of his employees follow her at a distance.
YFA: If life was a fairytale, we would still be together and making the TWF rival to the WWE. Life isn’t a fairytale, is it? Life is cruel…and so am I. I am the thing I loathed.
Rob sighs
YFA: Good-bye, Ashley. It’s a shame what has to happen to you. A Damn shame.
Rob stands up, and begins pacing the floors.
YFA: So, Kingpin is in hiding, Marcus T has been apparently murdered and Dragzilla wants to wear my ass as a hat. JENT has fallen and I have risen. I have had one match in the TWD and I out rank the pathetic former protégé. A man that couldn't lace my jock. Tomas... you never truly learned your lessons. The biggest is that reputation is everything in this business.
Rob reaches into his private fridge and pulls out a soda of water.
YFA: This week, I have the most pathetic excuse for a gimmick going…and that’s saying something in a world filled with drag queens, 70’s kung fu artists, bad SNL rip offs, and Adam Young. I remember the days of Self-loathing Jews, Thumb Stompers, and B-movie actors.
Rob practically swallows the whole bottle of water.
YFA: The world has changed…and not for the better. No one pops for wrestling chefs anymore. I certainly don’t have any interest in wrestling one. I have bigger fish to fry, sort of speak.
Rob gets a rather disturbing look on his face.
YFA: When I don’t get what I want, I get a bit bitchy. I have still not killed Kingpin yet, Chef Man. So, who do you think I will take my frustration out on? That’s, right, Chef Boyardee…you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I’ve won a few titles in my lifetime. Not all of them were bullshit, either.
Rob almost laughs at himself, but then the disturbed look returns.
YFA: You don’t become a 4 time TWF champion easily. You don’t go toe-to-toe with the big names without skill. You don’t beat men like Dustin Iler, Dr. Midnight, Deke Carter, and even the piece of shit known as Kingpin for championships without knowing what you are doing. You do it with talent, brains, and the will to win. I lost my will to live for awhile. I lost my will to love forever. I have never lost my will to win. Think about that before we step into the ring, Swedish Chef.
End.
Ashley: What the Hell is this, Rob?
Ashley is flashing some sort of paperwork in his face.
YFA: I assume that is the request to the courts for full custody of Brandy and Don.
Ashley: What are you doing? You agreed to give me custody, Rob.
YFA: Yes, we all make mistakes, Ashley. I made several of the them the past several years. Marrying you was a fairly large one. Letting you take the children was one of the biggest. However, I am working to fix many of my mistakes.
Ashley: You honestly think a judge will hand the children to a man that is accused of murder, who gave them up from the get go, and a man that has shown very little interest in them since?
YFA: (smiles) Ashley, I have learned more than just from the mistakes I made in my personal life. I’ve also learned from my mistakes in my professional life. I have learned that in both cases, letting things go only means they will come back to bite you latter. I am taking care of the open sore that is Kingpin as I should have before. He may have come up with an excuse to hide from me, but he will eventually raise his head out of his hole and I severe it when he does….
Ashley looks shocked.
YFA: …as for you, my dear, I trusted you too deeply and you used it against me in our divorce. The old me would have just wrote it off as typical for my love life…but the new me won’t let it go anymore.
Ashley: You still have to get a Judge to listen to you and your very public, idiotic and insane behavior will prove to any judge…
YFA: Oh, not any judge, Ash. Certain judges enjoy living well. Certain judges enjoy the attractive women, the coke, and the cash. Particularly the one that will be hearing our case.
Ashley: Bastard...
Ashley starts to tear up.
Ashley: What happened to you, Rob? Where is the man I fell in love with? Where is the man that would do anything to protect me and his children?
Rob looks deeply into his ex-wife’s eyes.
YFA: You wounded him severely. Kingpin killed him completely. Both of you are going to wish you had done neither. As for my children, they will be protected. Much more so than being with you. Now, you can leave and, please, only speak to me through our lawyers. That’s what they are there for, after all.
Ashley looks as if she could kill, but she runs out as she breaks down.
YFA: Yes, I am the Bastard. I am the Scumbag. I am the cold Son-of-a-Bitch. Kingpin, I have learned my lessons and I have gained further knowledge as I have worn my crown of shit.
Rob watches Ashley get into her car to drive away. He sees one of his employees follow her at a distance.
YFA: If life was a fairytale, we would still be together and making the TWF rival to the WWE. Life isn’t a fairytale, is it? Life is cruel…and so am I. I am the thing I loathed.
Rob sighs
YFA: Good-bye, Ashley. It’s a shame what has to happen to you. A Damn shame.
Rob stands up, and begins pacing the floors.
YFA: So, Kingpin is in hiding, Marcus T has been apparently murdered and Dragzilla wants to wear my ass as a hat. JENT has fallen and I have risen. I have had one match in the TWD and I out rank the pathetic former protégé. A man that couldn't lace my jock. Tomas... you never truly learned your lessons. The biggest is that reputation is everything in this business.
Rob reaches into his private fridge and pulls out a soda of water.
YFA: This week, I have the most pathetic excuse for a gimmick going…and that’s saying something in a world filled with drag queens, 70’s kung fu artists, bad SNL rip offs, and Adam Young. I remember the days of Self-loathing Jews, Thumb Stompers, and B-movie actors.
Rob practically swallows the whole bottle of water.
YFA: The world has changed…and not for the better. No one pops for wrestling chefs anymore. I certainly don’t have any interest in wrestling one. I have bigger fish to fry, sort of speak.
Rob gets a rather disturbing look on his face.
YFA: When I don’t get what I want, I get a bit bitchy. I have still not killed Kingpin yet, Chef Man. So, who do you think I will take my frustration out on? That’s, right, Chef Boyardee…you. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but I’ve won a few titles in my lifetime. Not all of them were bullshit, either.
Rob almost laughs at himself, but then the disturbed look returns.
YFA: You don’t become a 4 time TWF champion easily. You don’t go toe-to-toe with the big names without skill. You don’t beat men like Dustin Iler, Dr. Midnight, Deke Carter, and even the piece of shit known as Kingpin for championships without knowing what you are doing. You do it with talent, brains, and the will to win. I lost my will to live for awhile. I lost my will to love forever. I have never lost my will to win. Think about that before we step into the ring, Swedish Chef.
End.
