Post by The Wizard of Ahhhhs on Nov 11, 2008 22:27:55 GMT -5
(The scene cuts open. The Wizard of Ahhhhs and Off Constantly are walking through the mall. Off Constantly is looking upwards at a Spencer's sign. The Wizard gives him a back hand chop across the left arm and it grabs his attention. He wipes his mouth a little bit and looks down at the Wizard, who motions over to a store. Zombie like, he walks beside the Wizard as they stroll over towards Victoria Secrets. They stop outside of the shop.)
Off Constantly: You ever been inside here before?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Nope.
Off Constantly: Is it going to hurt?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I don't know.
(The two make their way inside the shop. There doesn't seem to be anyone in their vicinity and much to their liking, the world hasn't come to an end. The two of them walk around between the racks of items slowly, looking around like a pair of palsy victims trying to find the right surgical tools for removing a gall bladder. Amidst all of their confusion, they have grabbed the attention of a young store clerk, who is sitting behind the counter. She is leaning down onto her elbows, with her hands underneath her chin. She is looking awfully saddened. The camera cuts away from our two heroes and onto her.
Standing behind the counter, filing her nails, is another young female. She looks is hot as hell, but only in appearance. Without taking more than a few seconds to summise who she is, you can tell that she is completely full of herself and feels like the world owes her big time for her breathing it's air. She shows off her fantastic skin in all the right places, without showing off too much. Just enough to tease a man's raging hormones. She's hot, but she's a bitch. Know this. The saddened girl is speaking and the hot bitch is paying enough attention to keep up with the conversation, but don't let her fool you. She is completely wrapped up in whatever is important to herself. Nooooo one else.)
Saddened Girl: ... so he doesn't even tell me that he loves me anymore. Not all the time that is, just once in a while.
Hot Bitch Girl: I don't know what that's like. Every guy says that they love me. If they aren't saying it, it's because they are in denial or are gay. Gay guys love me too though.
Saddened Girl: I'm just not sure what to do about Stephan anymore. You think I should try to be a little more affectionate and supportive of what he wants?
Hot Bitch Girl: I think you should flirt with other guys all the damn time, so he is driven absolutely out of his mind with jealousy. That way, you get to see how insecure he is about you. Ugh, like.. such a turn off... If he doesn't act all jealous, then it obviously means that he doesn't care, so you can sleep around anyways. It's like... a total win-win.
Saddened Girl: Oh, we have some customers.
Hot Bitch Girl: Well, yeaaaa.. but I'm like, doing my nails.
(The Saddened Girl slowly rights her posture, standing up. She takes a deep breath and walks over towards the two men. Off Constantly sees her coming and he tries to whistle, but nothing but a fluff of air comes out.)
Off Constantly: Hey... someone is coming. Hide!
(Off Constantly ducks down behind a rack of push up bras.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Jesus, why?
(The Saddened Girl approaches the Wizard of Ahhhhs, who is holding up a piece of white, lacy, dental floss. He holds the item into the air and looks it over.)
Saddened Girl: Hello, welcome to Victoria Secrets. Can I help you find anything?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You can answer me a question. Women actually wear this?
Saddened Girl: Why yes, some do.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: What's the point of even wearing any at all if this is what you are considering?
Saddened Girl: Tee hee, well, I guess that's a good question. For some, it makes them feel real sexy.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Yea, well with this item, Victoria doesn't have any secrets left outside of her extra martial affairs.
Saddened Girl: What?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Would you stand up? There is no need to be hiding.
(Off Constantly pokes his head up and looks around.)
Off Constantly: You sure?
Saddened Girl: Oh, hi there.
(Off Constantly stands up and looks around. The Wizard sets the g-string back down and walks around to another rack.)
Saddened Girl: Is there something you are looking for?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I need some lingerie. Just a simple bra and panties combo will do just fine.
Off Constantly: I'm here helping.
Saddened Girl: *giggles* That's very nice of you. Well, why don't you follow me over to this display that we have on sale.
(The trio steps across an aisle and over to said display.)
Saddened Girl: Do you know your size?
Off Constantly: I'd say he's petite.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Everybody looks petite to you Mr. Keilbasa for Fingers.
Saddened Girl: *giggles* Why don't you wait here, I'll be right back.
(The Saddened Girl leaves the two as they look around at the bra and panty displays as if they were looking at exotic fish through glass at an aquarium. She makes it to the counter and digs into some shelving under the register.)
Hot Bitch Girl: Like.. what do THEY want?
Saddened Girl: They are customers looking for lingerie. I think it's really sweet of them to come together.
(The Saddened Girl emerges with a measuring tape and walks over to them.)
Saddened Girl: Hold out your arms please.
(The Saddened Girl wraps the tape around the Wizard in various places, taking several measurements.)
Saddened Girl: Okay, I have you around a 32 for a bra size and a 6 panty. Did you have a color in mind.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh hell, I don't know. What do you think?
Off Constantly: Gonna have to go with black.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: What about you missy?
Saddened Girl: Personally... I think you should go with this pale blue. It really matches your eyes I think.
The Wizard of Ahhhhhs: Yea? That's nice of you to say.
Off Constantly: Yea, I think she's right.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Don't be agreeing with her!
Saddened Girl: Well, we have those items right here if you were looking to buy them.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Yes, let's get that over and done with. We have other things we need to do today.
Saddened Girl: Follow me to the register then and we'll take care of you.
(The trio walks over the register. Items get rung up, cash gets exchanged, items are placed in a bag, the bag is handed over. Free receipt with every purchase, what a bonus. Saddened Girl seems to perk up and smile as the Wizard takes the bag and smiles back, walking away. Off Constantly gives her a little wave and follows behind the Wizard. The Saddened Girl smiles and goes back to resting her hand on her hands, elbows on the counter top.)
Saddened Girl: Now that was just what I needed to see.
Hot Bitch Girl: What?
Saddened Girl: Those two, shopping for intimates together. They are just so... confident in who they are and they aren't afraid to be like that in public. They are so close that they share everything with each other, even the little things. I wish I had what they have...
(The scene cuts out)
Off Constantly: You ever been inside here before?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Nope.
Off Constantly: Is it going to hurt?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I don't know.
(The two make their way inside the shop. There doesn't seem to be anyone in their vicinity and much to their liking, the world hasn't come to an end. The two of them walk around between the racks of items slowly, looking around like a pair of palsy victims trying to find the right surgical tools for removing a gall bladder. Amidst all of their confusion, they have grabbed the attention of a young store clerk, who is sitting behind the counter. She is leaning down onto her elbows, with her hands underneath her chin. She is looking awfully saddened. The camera cuts away from our two heroes and onto her.
Standing behind the counter, filing her nails, is another young female. She looks is hot as hell, but only in appearance. Without taking more than a few seconds to summise who she is, you can tell that she is completely full of herself and feels like the world owes her big time for her breathing it's air. She shows off her fantastic skin in all the right places, without showing off too much. Just enough to tease a man's raging hormones. She's hot, but she's a bitch. Know this. The saddened girl is speaking and the hot bitch is paying enough attention to keep up with the conversation, but don't let her fool you. She is completely wrapped up in whatever is important to herself. Nooooo one else.)
Saddened Girl: ... so he doesn't even tell me that he loves me anymore. Not all the time that is, just once in a while.
Hot Bitch Girl: I don't know what that's like. Every guy says that they love me. If they aren't saying it, it's because they are in denial or are gay. Gay guys love me too though.
Saddened Girl: I'm just not sure what to do about Stephan anymore. You think I should try to be a little more affectionate and supportive of what he wants?
Hot Bitch Girl: I think you should flirt with other guys all the damn time, so he is driven absolutely out of his mind with jealousy. That way, you get to see how insecure he is about you. Ugh, like.. such a turn off... If he doesn't act all jealous, then it obviously means that he doesn't care, so you can sleep around anyways. It's like... a total win-win.
Saddened Girl: Oh, we have some customers.
Hot Bitch Girl: Well, yeaaaa.. but I'm like, doing my nails.
(The Saddened Girl slowly rights her posture, standing up. She takes a deep breath and walks over towards the two men. Off Constantly sees her coming and he tries to whistle, but nothing but a fluff of air comes out.)
Off Constantly: Hey... someone is coming. Hide!
(Off Constantly ducks down behind a rack of push up bras.)
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Jesus, why?
(The Saddened Girl approaches the Wizard of Ahhhhs, who is holding up a piece of white, lacy, dental floss. He holds the item into the air and looks it over.)
Saddened Girl: Hello, welcome to Victoria Secrets. Can I help you find anything?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: You can answer me a question. Women actually wear this?
Saddened Girl: Why yes, some do.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: What's the point of even wearing any at all if this is what you are considering?
Saddened Girl: Tee hee, well, I guess that's a good question. For some, it makes them feel real sexy.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Yea, well with this item, Victoria doesn't have any secrets left outside of her extra martial affairs.
Saddened Girl: What?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Would you stand up? There is no need to be hiding.
(Off Constantly pokes his head up and looks around.)
Off Constantly: You sure?
Saddened Girl: Oh, hi there.
(Off Constantly stands up and looks around. The Wizard sets the g-string back down and walks around to another rack.)
Saddened Girl: Is there something you are looking for?
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: I need some lingerie. Just a simple bra and panties combo will do just fine.
Off Constantly: I'm here helping.
Saddened Girl: *giggles* That's very nice of you. Well, why don't you follow me over to this display that we have on sale.
(The trio steps across an aisle and over to said display.)
Saddened Girl: Do you know your size?
Off Constantly: I'd say he's petite.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Everybody looks petite to you Mr. Keilbasa for Fingers.
Saddened Girl: *giggles* Why don't you wait here, I'll be right back.
(The Saddened Girl leaves the two as they look around at the bra and panty displays as if they were looking at exotic fish through glass at an aquarium. She makes it to the counter and digs into some shelving under the register.)
Hot Bitch Girl: Like.. what do THEY want?
Saddened Girl: They are customers looking for lingerie. I think it's really sweet of them to come together.
(The Saddened Girl emerges with a measuring tape and walks over to them.)
Saddened Girl: Hold out your arms please.
(The Saddened Girl wraps the tape around the Wizard in various places, taking several measurements.)
Saddened Girl: Okay, I have you around a 32 for a bra size and a 6 panty. Did you have a color in mind.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Oh hell, I don't know. What do you think?
Off Constantly: Gonna have to go with black.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: What about you missy?
Saddened Girl: Personally... I think you should go with this pale blue. It really matches your eyes I think.
The Wizard of Ahhhhhs: Yea? That's nice of you to say.
Off Constantly: Yea, I think she's right.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Don't be agreeing with her!
Saddened Girl: Well, we have those items right here if you were looking to buy them.
The Wizard of Ahhhhs: Yes, let's get that over and done with. We have other things we need to do today.
Saddened Girl: Follow me to the register then and we'll take care of you.
(The trio walks over the register. Items get rung up, cash gets exchanged, items are placed in a bag, the bag is handed over. Free receipt with every purchase, what a bonus. Saddened Girl seems to perk up and smile as the Wizard takes the bag and smiles back, walking away. Off Constantly gives her a little wave and follows behind the Wizard. The Saddened Girl smiles and goes back to resting her hand on her hands, elbows on the counter top.)
Saddened Girl: Now that was just what I needed to see.
Hot Bitch Girl: What?
Saddened Girl: Those two, shopping for intimates together. They are just so... confident in who they are and they aren't afraid to be like that in public. They are so close that they share everything with each other, even the little things. I wish I had what they have...
(The scene cuts out)