Post by Rastafari on Jun 24, 2008 2:43:44 GMT -5
Announcer: From Hollywood California, its the hip hop comedy show, WILD'N OUT with your host Nick Cannon, special guest JahMon Rastafari, on the red team, Rashika Mathur, Corey Holocomb, SHAWTY, and special apperance by Katt Williams, on the black team, DeRay Davis, Spanky Hayes, Mikey Day and Afrion Crockett, I'm DJ D-Wrek and this is WILD'N OUT!
(Scene opens to Nick Cannon coming on stage and doing some played out dance for about 10 seconds while the fans whip themselves into a frenzy, Nick makes a slashing motion across the throat and music stops)
Nick Cannon: Welcome to Wild'n Out, the comedy show off the top of the dome, you know how we do!!! Hey D-Wrek, you got some nice bling on tonight what you got on your hat....
(Camera spins to D-Wrek who's wearing a TWD hat encrusted with diamonds (corny yo)
D-Wrek: Well you know, new feds need some advertisement.
Nick Cannon: A'ight, Ladies and Gentlemen, you know I'm a big wrestling fan? Yeah thats right, I keep sending out requests for The Rock to come on my show, or maybe Kurt Angle, or Samoa Joe, but none of them seem to want to go on an "unscripted" show, but my guest tonight is making a name for himself quickly in an upstart federation in Texas, give it up for the Jamaican senstation, JahMon Rastafari!
(Black Team makes a huddle then they turn around and JahMon comes out of the tunnel and low fives everyone)
Nick Cannon: Welcome to my show, you know how we do, jokes off the top of the dome, come hard baby....
JahMon: Well you're gon regret that "unscripted" remark there mon!
Nick Cannon: Ohhhh starting early eh?
JahMon: Yeah Mon, its all good!
Nick Cannon: A'ight, D-Wrek what's the first game?
D-Wrek: The first game is called "rest in peace" One member of each team will each have to say something that would be on a tombstone that I give you. If it's funny it gets a bell if it doesn't a buzzer.
Nick Cannon: A'ight, wild'n out!
(Katt Williams and Mikey Day come to the podium)
D-Wrek: George W Bush.
Mikey Day: Well huh huh, I guess I sniffed a lil too hard that last one.
*buzzer*
Katt Williams: Hey, at least I didn't bullshit and say "I didnt snort" cuz HUH HUH...you know I did!
*bell*
(They leave the stage and Rashika Mathur and DeRay Davis come up)
D-Wrek: Brittany Spears
Raskika: OOPS, I od'ed again....
*bell*
DeRay: I knew I should have never shaved my head.....
*buzzer*
(they leave the stage and Shawty and Spanky Hayes come on)
D-Wrek: MC Hammer
Shawty: I said I wouldn't be caught dead in parachute pants again, they thought I said Parachutes, I guess Skydiving wasn't my thing.
*bell*
Spanky: If I had a million dollars, OH I DID, (grabs his heart)
*bell*
(Nick Cannon and JahMon Rastafari come up)
D-Wrek: Nick Cannon.
Nick Cannon: I told them I'd die if I married Mariah Carey, OH SNAP!
*Bell*
JahMon: I married Mariah Carey to further my movie career, Glitter STILL outsold ALL of my movies AUGH!
*Bell*
D-Wrek: The red team got the most bells and they win this round...
Nick Cannon: I see JahMon came to play, where in Jamaica are you from?
JahMon: Montego Bay, Mon.
Nick Cannon: Got some good lookin ladies out there?
JahMon: Lets just say mon, you can't handle Jamaican woman.
Nick Cannon: A'iight you got jokes, D-Wrek whats the next game?
D-Wrek: The next game is called "let me holla" Each team has members use their best pick-up lines on a Wild 'n Out Girl. Funny pick-up lines are awarded with a bell, lets get a wild'n out girl to the stage.
(typical Wild'n Out girl with short skirt and some weird ethnic mix stands on the stage, the crowd cheers as JahMon comes out puffing on his blunt)
JahMon: Ya know honey, I ain't gon need no weed to get you high!
(Wild'n Out girl giggles and theres a bell)
(Nick Cannon comes up)
Nick Cannon: If I wasn't your boss and I didn't have a no dating the staff policy, you'd still be my Wild'n Out girl
*buzzer*
(Afrion Crockett comes to the stage)
Afrion: (sniffling) baby, (sniffles) whatever you sprayed on is killin my allergies, (sniffles) but I'd rather die with snot in my nose than not touch you!
*Bell*
(Rashika Davis comes up)
Rashika: you know, I've BEEN a lot of places, I know what BIEN means, and I'm a LESBIAN! (lesbean)
*bell*
(Spanky and Mikey come up)
Spanky (in thick southern accent) y'all wan see mah lizard? I got a big lizard
Mikey: (Translating in clear english) he wants to know if you think he's cute
*buzzer*
(Shawty comes up)
Shawty: Now listen here, Ima take ya to the movie, and after that, Ima shave your name into my head!
*buzzer*
Shawty: AWWWW
(JahMon comes up again)
JahMon: In Jamaica we have a saying *speaks cerole language* which means "I dig your body, come rock it with mine"
*bell*
D-Wrek: Well the black team takes that one, the score is tied 1-1.....the next game is called "So Fly" he teams have to try to score points by bragging about their team captain. Funny brags score a bell while weak ones earn a buzzer
(red team and black team come to the stage together)
Shawty: MY man NICK CANNON is Sooooo Flyyyyyy
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Shawty: His wife is Mariah Carey DUH!
*bell*
DeRay Davis: My man JahMon Rastafari is so fly....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
DeRay: When he hits the bong and exhales, LA ups the smog alert!
*bell*
Katt Williams: MY man Nick Cannon so fly....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Katt: If he was a pimp, his name would be GLITTER, and no one would think about f*bleep*ing with him
*bell*
Afrion Crockett: My man JahMon Rastafari is so fly....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Afrion: If you cut his dreadlocks off, you could smoke up a small village in Africa for a year!
*Bell*
Corey Holocomb: my man Nick Cannon so fly.....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Corey: He got SHAQ on his show, I just go by the name Corey now
*buzzer*
Spanky Hayes: my man JahMon Rastafari so fly...
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Spanky: He's only been here for a few weeks, and more people have heard of him than Nick Cannon already
*bell*
D-Wrek: Ok the black squad won that one and they're up 2-1, you know whats next
Nick Cannon: Thats right, the final round called WYLDSTYLE, each team is going to battle it out and for each funny punchline they get one point, D-Wrek, drop it like its hot
(some random hip hop beat comes on)
(DeRay points to Shawty as if he's calling him out)
DeRay: let me get this straight, you think you're cool, I had those sunglasses, back in elementary school!
*bell*
Shawty: you got jokes, ha ha, I don't really care, First time I saw you I thought you were the guy from "The Air up There"
*bell*
(Mikey Day steps up to Katt Williams)
Mikey: Hey yo Katt, Hey yo Katt, riddle me this, riddle me that, whats with the hair and your girly name Katt?
*buzzer*
Katt: I know you think you're a funny white boy, you dont have a clue, even with this hair and name, I get more *bleep* than you do!
*bell*
(Rashika grab the mike)
Rashika: I want the cute Jamaican boy.
(JahMon laughs and steps up to the black squad's mike)
Rashika: I know you think you're cute, I bet you think you're Hot, lets get one thing straight honey, I'm NOT.
*buzzer*
JahMon: I hate to do this to a pretty lady, but here goes. You try to tempt me thats a little insane, everbody knows I'm in love with Mary Jane
*bell*
Katt: You think you're smart cuz you smoke the chronic, I make more money than you and I'm a comic.
*bell*
JahMon: Ah yes Katt Williams the stoned out pimp, tell me kind sir, did Terry Crews give you that limp?
*bell*
(Corey Holocomb calls out Mikey)
Corey: Mikey Mikey pale and bright, you're the only guy I know who is his own night light.
*buzzer*
Mikey: Ah ha ha ha ha, Cory you keep living a fantasy, its getting whack, get it in your head, You're NOT SHAQ!
*bell*
Nick Cannon: hey I want one crack at JahMon....Puff Puff smoke and toke, if you win the battle, that will be a joke...dammit.
*buzzer*
JahMon: I didn't want to have it come down to this but here we go.....Nick Cannon Nick Cannon, its the millenium, I bet every time you open your wife's legs, you pay a premium......
*bell dings loudly and long signaling the black team has won*
D-Wrek: The black squad wins wildstyle and that means they win it all!!
Nick Cannon: Well folks get used to this sight, tonight JahMon won my comedy championship belt, soon enough we might see him with some TWD gold, now for my musical Guest, I wanted it to be a surprise in honor of my guest JahMon, he came to play and he proved he got some jokes, ladies and gentlemen, KOTTONMOUTH KINGS.
(smoke pours onto the stage as 420 blares and KottonMouth Kings come out and rap as the show fades out)
(later on in the green room with the TWD Camera crew)
JahMon: Wow mon that was a fun time, speaking of fun time, this Saturday I will be competing in my first match and I look forward to starting my career off with a bang, make no mistake, I might have jokes, I might be a laid back and easy going guy, but once I get into that ring, all bets are off mon, the warrior spirit in me will not allow me to just show up for a paycheck, no mon, I'm gonna give them a show, in fact, I bet you could say, I'm going to steal the show!!
(JahMon gives a wink as if he knows something is up and smiles, and we fade to smoke)
(Scene opens to Nick Cannon coming on stage and doing some played out dance for about 10 seconds while the fans whip themselves into a frenzy, Nick makes a slashing motion across the throat and music stops)
Nick Cannon: Welcome to Wild'n Out, the comedy show off the top of the dome, you know how we do!!! Hey D-Wrek, you got some nice bling on tonight what you got on your hat....
(Camera spins to D-Wrek who's wearing a TWD hat encrusted with diamonds (corny yo)
D-Wrek: Well you know, new feds need some advertisement.
Nick Cannon: A'ight, Ladies and Gentlemen, you know I'm a big wrestling fan? Yeah thats right, I keep sending out requests for The Rock to come on my show, or maybe Kurt Angle, or Samoa Joe, but none of them seem to want to go on an "unscripted" show, but my guest tonight is making a name for himself quickly in an upstart federation in Texas, give it up for the Jamaican senstation, JahMon Rastafari!
(Black Team makes a huddle then they turn around and JahMon comes out of the tunnel and low fives everyone)
Nick Cannon: Welcome to my show, you know how we do, jokes off the top of the dome, come hard baby....
JahMon: Well you're gon regret that "unscripted" remark there mon!
Nick Cannon: Ohhhh starting early eh?
JahMon: Yeah Mon, its all good!
Nick Cannon: A'ight, D-Wrek what's the first game?
D-Wrek: The first game is called "rest in peace" One member of each team will each have to say something that would be on a tombstone that I give you. If it's funny it gets a bell if it doesn't a buzzer.
Nick Cannon: A'ight, wild'n out!
(Katt Williams and Mikey Day come to the podium)
D-Wrek: George W Bush.
Mikey Day: Well huh huh, I guess I sniffed a lil too hard that last one.
*buzzer*
Katt Williams: Hey, at least I didn't bullshit and say "I didnt snort" cuz HUH HUH...you know I did!
*bell*
(They leave the stage and Rashika Mathur and DeRay Davis come up)
D-Wrek: Brittany Spears
Raskika: OOPS, I od'ed again....
*bell*
DeRay: I knew I should have never shaved my head.....
*buzzer*
(they leave the stage and Shawty and Spanky Hayes come on)
D-Wrek: MC Hammer
Shawty: I said I wouldn't be caught dead in parachute pants again, they thought I said Parachutes, I guess Skydiving wasn't my thing.
*bell*
Spanky: If I had a million dollars, OH I DID, (grabs his heart)
*bell*
(Nick Cannon and JahMon Rastafari come up)
D-Wrek: Nick Cannon.
Nick Cannon: I told them I'd die if I married Mariah Carey, OH SNAP!
*Bell*
JahMon: I married Mariah Carey to further my movie career, Glitter STILL outsold ALL of my movies AUGH!
*Bell*
D-Wrek: The red team got the most bells and they win this round...
Nick Cannon: I see JahMon came to play, where in Jamaica are you from?
JahMon: Montego Bay, Mon.
Nick Cannon: Got some good lookin ladies out there?
JahMon: Lets just say mon, you can't handle Jamaican woman.
Nick Cannon: A'iight you got jokes, D-Wrek whats the next game?
D-Wrek: The next game is called "let me holla" Each team has members use their best pick-up lines on a Wild 'n Out Girl. Funny pick-up lines are awarded with a bell, lets get a wild'n out girl to the stage.
(typical Wild'n Out girl with short skirt and some weird ethnic mix stands on the stage, the crowd cheers as JahMon comes out puffing on his blunt)
JahMon: Ya know honey, I ain't gon need no weed to get you high!
(Wild'n Out girl giggles and theres a bell)
(Nick Cannon comes up)
Nick Cannon: If I wasn't your boss and I didn't have a no dating the staff policy, you'd still be my Wild'n Out girl
*buzzer*
(Afrion Crockett comes to the stage)
Afrion: (sniffling) baby, (sniffles) whatever you sprayed on is killin my allergies, (sniffles) but I'd rather die with snot in my nose than not touch you!
*Bell*
(Rashika Davis comes up)
Rashika: you know, I've BEEN a lot of places, I know what BIEN means, and I'm a LESBIAN! (lesbean)
*bell*
(Spanky and Mikey come up)
Spanky (in thick southern accent) y'all wan see mah lizard? I got a big lizard
Mikey: (Translating in clear english) he wants to know if you think he's cute
*buzzer*
(Shawty comes up)
Shawty: Now listen here, Ima take ya to the movie, and after that, Ima shave your name into my head!
*buzzer*
Shawty: AWWWW
(JahMon comes up again)
JahMon: In Jamaica we have a saying *speaks cerole language* which means "I dig your body, come rock it with mine"
*bell*
D-Wrek: Well the black team takes that one, the score is tied 1-1.....the next game is called "So Fly" he teams have to try to score points by bragging about their team captain. Funny brags score a bell while weak ones earn a buzzer
(red team and black team come to the stage together)
Shawty: MY man NICK CANNON is Sooooo Flyyyyyy
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Shawty: His wife is Mariah Carey DUH!
*bell*
DeRay Davis: My man JahMon Rastafari is so fly....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
DeRay: When he hits the bong and exhales, LA ups the smog alert!
*bell*
Katt Williams: MY man Nick Cannon so fly....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Katt: If he was a pimp, his name would be GLITTER, and no one would think about f*bleep*ing with him
*bell*
Afrion Crockett: My man JahMon Rastafari is so fly....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Afrion: If you cut his dreadlocks off, you could smoke up a small village in Africa for a year!
*Bell*
Corey Holocomb: my man Nick Cannon so fly.....
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Corey: He got SHAQ on his show, I just go by the name Corey now
*buzzer*
Spanky Hayes: my man JahMon Rastafari so fly...
Audience: HOW FLY IS HE?
Spanky: He's only been here for a few weeks, and more people have heard of him than Nick Cannon already
*bell*
D-Wrek: Ok the black squad won that one and they're up 2-1, you know whats next
Nick Cannon: Thats right, the final round called WYLDSTYLE, each team is going to battle it out and for each funny punchline they get one point, D-Wrek, drop it like its hot
(some random hip hop beat comes on)
(DeRay points to Shawty as if he's calling him out)
DeRay: let me get this straight, you think you're cool, I had those sunglasses, back in elementary school!
*bell*
Shawty: you got jokes, ha ha, I don't really care, First time I saw you I thought you were the guy from "The Air up There"
*bell*
(Mikey Day steps up to Katt Williams)
Mikey: Hey yo Katt, Hey yo Katt, riddle me this, riddle me that, whats with the hair and your girly name Katt?
*buzzer*
Katt: I know you think you're a funny white boy, you dont have a clue, even with this hair and name, I get more *bleep* than you do!
*bell*
(Rashika grab the mike)
Rashika: I want the cute Jamaican boy.
(JahMon laughs and steps up to the black squad's mike)
Rashika: I know you think you're cute, I bet you think you're Hot, lets get one thing straight honey, I'm NOT.
*buzzer*
JahMon: I hate to do this to a pretty lady, but here goes. You try to tempt me thats a little insane, everbody knows I'm in love with Mary Jane
*bell*
Katt: You think you're smart cuz you smoke the chronic, I make more money than you and I'm a comic.
*bell*
JahMon: Ah yes Katt Williams the stoned out pimp, tell me kind sir, did Terry Crews give you that limp?
*bell*
(Corey Holocomb calls out Mikey)
Corey: Mikey Mikey pale and bright, you're the only guy I know who is his own night light.
*buzzer*
Mikey: Ah ha ha ha ha, Cory you keep living a fantasy, its getting whack, get it in your head, You're NOT SHAQ!
*bell*
Nick Cannon: hey I want one crack at JahMon....Puff Puff smoke and toke, if you win the battle, that will be a joke...dammit.
*buzzer*
JahMon: I didn't want to have it come down to this but here we go.....Nick Cannon Nick Cannon, its the millenium, I bet every time you open your wife's legs, you pay a premium......
*bell dings loudly and long signaling the black team has won*
D-Wrek: The black squad wins wildstyle and that means they win it all!!
Nick Cannon: Well folks get used to this sight, tonight JahMon won my comedy championship belt, soon enough we might see him with some TWD gold, now for my musical Guest, I wanted it to be a surprise in honor of my guest JahMon, he came to play and he proved he got some jokes, ladies and gentlemen, KOTTONMOUTH KINGS.
(smoke pours onto the stage as 420 blares and KottonMouth Kings come out and rap as the show fades out)
(later on in the green room with the TWD Camera crew)
JahMon: Wow mon that was a fun time, speaking of fun time, this Saturday I will be competing in my first match and I look forward to starting my career off with a bang, make no mistake, I might have jokes, I might be a laid back and easy going guy, but once I get into that ring, all bets are off mon, the warrior spirit in me will not allow me to just show up for a paycheck, no mon, I'm gonna give them a show, in fact, I bet you could say, I'm going to steal the show!!
(JahMon gives a wink as if he knows something is up and smiles, and we fade to smoke)